I always find it difficult to blog about hardship or heartache because I feel like it contradicts what I believe in. I think that I am in a season where its just before the finished line for this season, but I kinda have to keep pushing and keep going … through the fatigue, through the cramps, through the junk in my mind, through the crazy people on the side lines making me feel like I suck…
Its easier than it sounds.
I mean, I feel like giving up SO many times!
But God keeps reminding me that He has a plan and a purpose.
Hes like… “I know what I’m doing child!”
Ive got so many questions and so many little holes in my heart that needs plasters … I literally feel like my joy is seeping out…
Yeah yeah yeah joy comes in the morning hahahahahaha
Im laughing coz its crazy-wonderful coz you really cant be a Christian and be depro at the same time. Coz the Holy Spirits always hanging around, reminding you that all the negative stuff you’re hearing in your head is just: “lies and you know it!”
And you’re like… aaaack, but I wana hava pity party and feel sorry for myself!
LOL its wack.
Its like, we need to feel sorry for ourselves to make ourselves feel better even though we arent really feeling better.
In other news: Ive been wearing the same long black socks for the past 3 days.
Whaaaat? They are warm
Now that thats off my chest, let me go and NOT have a pity party!
Woohoo!! No pardy over here!
Love, Peace and Harmony
“But thanks be to God, Who in Christ always leads us in triumph…”
(2 Corinthians 2:14, AMP)
A had a revelation earlier: I am pretty good at being a professional Christian. And the crowd goes: “Say what?!” What I mean is: I know all the songs, I attend church more regularly than a regular, I am involved and committed. I run a Connect group. I am a member of a Family Group. I follow all the so called “rules”, so I’ve pretty much got this whole Christian thing waxed hey.
But what do any of this mean, when I’m in hot water? I’m not saying that all the stuff I’ve just mentioned is replaceable or not important. It is. But all of those things WITHOUT a relationship with God is empty. Having a relationship with HIM is what this whole Christian thing is all about. I can follow all the rules and laws – and do it because I have to – and I will be as empty as the reasons behind why I’m doing them. Without relationship, all the doing becomes… well.. just DOING.
We think we’ve got it all waxed until the moment where we find ourselves shoulders deep in nonsense. And truth be told, no matter what you’re “doing” or “not doing”, the only thing that will make sense to you in those moments, is your relationship with Him. Knowing Him is the only thing that can get you through it.
says that all the present suffering we go through does not compare to all the good stuff to come. And Phillipans 1:16
says that God will never ever end in a negative. So once you take a step towards knowing Him – really knowing Him – His words become a reality in your life. And soon those realities become YOUR reality. Your situation will never end badly… He doesn’t roll like that. If things seem pretty dull to you right now, just hang on and trust in Him because that just means that the good parts are still on their way.
So being a professional Christian holds no perks for me.