My grandma passed away yesterday morning. I had to say farewell to the lady that was more than just a grandma to me. She raised my sis, bro and I, so it is a big loss in our family. It was a very quick burial, because she was Muslim and they believe that the dead must be buried before the sun goes down. So it was all very impersonal and formal – altho, we shed alot of tears.
I found myself feeling very guilty and tired and angry at myself, for not being more of a granddaughter. I could’ve been a better one. I could’ve done more. I don’t know. I guess its to late to turn back time now. Yeah yeah yeah and I know that there is no condemnation in Christ. But I am filled with regret and heartache. Strange how its the only things comforting me right now, as scary as that sounds.
I was reading Romans, Jeremiah and Isaiah last night. I needed to hear from God so bad. And then He gave me Isaiah 44:22-24.
21-22″Remember these things, O Jacob. Take it seriously, Israel, that you’re my servant. I made you, shaped you: You’re my servant. O Israel, I’ll never forget you. I’ve wiped the slate of all your wrongdoings. There’s nothing left of your sins. Come back to me, come back. I’ve redeemed you.” 23High heavens, sing! God has done it. Deep earth, shout! And you mountains, sing! A forest choir of oaks and pines and cedars! God has redeemed Jacob. God’s glory is on display in Israel.
I know that He loves me and that in His eyes I’m still a princess. Gotta soak that up right now, I guess and start healing. Hope you’re having an awesome week.
I often take comfort in the fact that God is God. Always the same, always powerful, always there, even when I change. Sometimes, when I’m having one of my “Luchae Moments” (they happen often 🙂 I remind myself that MY God is the God of Abraham. MY God is the God of David. MY God is the Father that Jesus prayed to. He goes way back like that. And He has never ever changed or redirected His love from me.
Hmmm where am I going to with this? Okay… So for our Arise Womens Conference this year, our theme song is called “Desert Song” by Brooke Fraser and the hook of the song goes:
All of my life, in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Those words hold so much truth! And I guess this is what I’m meant to blog about today. Because we go through SO many season in our lives. A season of pruning, preparation, growth, harvest and more. Whatever you’re going through right now is only for a season and instead of fighting it, you could be going: “Sup God? What would You like me to do right now?” Having a fantastic prayer life could only really help you understand and accept what it is you’re supposed to be doing or learning in the season that you are currently in.
I remember a time when I was cut off from ALL my old friends and felt really sorry for myself, until I realized that it was a season and I needed to learn something out of it. Now I have many friends who are so close to me that I call them FAMILY. It’s crazy. But so awesome.
What season are you in? Are you in a season of harvest where you have it all and more keeps coming? Maybe you’re supposed to be sowing into someone else’s life. Are you in a season of pruning and it feels as if you’re losing everything and it hurts like crazy? Maybe God is removing certain things from your life so that you can grow tall. Are you in a season of productivity? Maybe you should revaluate what your fruits are.
God uses it all for His glory and for your benefit. That’s how He rolls. And through it all… through every up and down… God is still God. There is good in the season you are in right now even if you don’t see it or understand it and for that, you have a reason to praise His name. He is faithful every single time! This is truth.
‘For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.’