|Photo: Tenth Avenue North|
I am the mom of a teenager.
This daunting realization only hit me a few weeks ago (months after my son actually had his 13th birthday) when we had an argument about his hair style.
Yep, it happened. I became that mom.
The boy has decided to follow the new “comb over” trend (short back and sides, top hair combed over).
But instead of maintaining it, he pretty much just wakes up and runs his fingers through his hair.
So its basically short back and sides, top hair… sticking out everywhere!
Its not quite “combing over” as the hair style would imply.
He has really thick hair, albeit isn’t curly, but it isn’t exactly Justin Bieber.
I am sure you can tell that my boy is everything I am not!
If I am a list maker, he would be the one to use the list to stick his gum into.
I want things to be perfect. He wants things to be easy.
With this said, I am slowly learning that I cant turn him into a mini me (like when I excitedly told him he could audition for the schools drama club and he looked at me as if I had leprosy).
Our kids are not meant to be like us.
And I am making peace with the fact that God has given them each unique personalities, traits and interests.
In order to bring out the best in my child, I need to support his dream and who God has called him to be.
Even if it’s uncharted territory for me!
So after the realization that I need to let go and slowly step away from the hair… I remembered MY awkward teenage years where I insisted on wearing my hair in 1 style: a ponytail at the base of my neck… and not in a cute way.
|Photo: Google Images|
Just as I grew into myself and into the woman I am today, he too needs to grow into himself, all by himself… without me making him feel like a dork about it.
So this me, officially stepping away from the hair….
Pregnancy and weddings have a couple of things in common. Well, for starters, they are flippen expensive. But that aside, I love the excitement of a new season and the expectancy of a new change on the horizon! And also, isn’t it amazing how you plan the “big day” for a couple of months and you literally sneeze and all those precious moments are finished. It is with this in mind that I started a journal while I was pregnant with our Curly. In fact, I began documenting every, single moment from the minute I found out I was pregnant. (spreadsheet brain, remember?).
I used it as a diary of sorts, to jot down my gynae visit dates and lists of things I would need to do as we began prepping for her arrival. I also wrote down my thoughts and daydreams, including photos, little stories, keepsakes that was special to me during this time. Before I knew it, the journal was filled with pages and pages of my heart, hopes and dreams, for my girl and a bunch of stuff, like advice and life lessons, that I would want to pass on to her one day. I plan to give the journal to her when she is 18 or 21 or on her wedding day, or something.
I recently had this revelation about her JOURNAL being a part of her JOURNEY. That’s what life is all about though, right? It’s all about the journey… the road you choose to take… the decisions you make, the memories you collect and the life lessons you learn and grow from! I want my girl to know that the journey of her life started when she was but a seed in my belly and that she was loved even then! I want her to know that God knew her name before she was in my womb and that she has purpose and every part of her life is special!
Working with youngsters has shown me that there are so many who go through life believing that they are not as important as so-and-so OR not as pretty OR not as talented etc. The truth is that there are a lot of kids, out there, who simply lack the affection and love of a parent. We can blame it on social media or the Kardashians or heavy metal music but we really only have ourselves to blame. There is a lot more emphasis on living life a certain way and a lot less emphasis on the basics… quality time spent, words of affirmation, guidance and loyalty. We are rearing our kids in a hardhearted society where you get told that you have to be a certain way, in order to be deserving of love.
So yes, part of the reason why I started the journal was to share all these overlooked truths with her: You are enough. You are loved. You are perfect, just the way you are. But also, other significant things like the importance of being kind, loving those that other’s would deem ‘unlovable’ and acknowledging that every, single life is valuable and precious.
Ah if only more children could experience the kind of love that would help them to love themselves and OTHERS! What would our future look like, then? It is my prayer that my girl will grow into the kind of woman who knows what she wants and where she is going to! I want her to be a light in dark places and be a difference maker in her sphere of influence! I am so thankful that she is a part of my journey and so grateful to be a part of hers.
Mom, what sort of keepsakes and memorabilia have you set aside for your children?
One of the best things about being my daughters mommy is that I get to do something that no one else can – I get to feed her. Its so strange that there are so few who share my sentiments and I’ve had to explain my decision to breastfeed to a few more people than I’d care to explain myself to. It makes me wonder what on earth goes through the minds of sane human beings who look at me with “this girl is crazy” eyes when I mention that I love breastfeeding and I will do it for as long as baby girl needs me to. I mean, since when has processed, lab made milk been better than the milk that God had intended mommy’s to make for their baby’s? To each their own, I guess.
I think that the suckiest part of breastfeeding is the fact that I had to go back to work after 4 months and didn’t get to feed her as much as I wanted to. I did go through a few weeks of breast pump mayhem, but had to then start topping up with formula, since I was not pumping enough at work to send home for the next days feeds. She now gets about 3 formula bottles per day and then the rest of her feeds are mommy’s milk.
I know that it would be easier to simply just give her the formula bottles and quit the breastfeeding (especially when I feel like I’m about to explode after a whole day of not feeding her and not pumping) but nothing beats the bond that we share after a long day of work and nanny!
So, for now, I’m okay with the accidental spills when I’ve failed to bring my breast pump to work. And I’m okay with looking like I’ve just went for DD cup breast enlargement surgery after 4pm each day. It’s all worth it in the end!
In a weird way, I think that I rediscovered my “mom groove” after the birth of my baby girl. I’m calling it “weird” because I actually knew how to be someones mom before she was born. I mean, I was not completely foreign to the concept. My firstborn is 13 years old so I’m practically a pro! But rediscovering all the joy (and dedication) a newborn baby brings reminded me of the importance of being Mom.
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