Mean girls. You know who they are. The “know it alls” disguised as “better than” human beings, with the overbearing amount of opinion and the distinct desire to share it (to your face or behind your back). They know better. Scrap that: They know BEST. And they have a group of friends who agree. If you aren’t doing things the way they do it, then you are SO outdated/dumb/naive that surely the main dinosaur from Jurassic Park is more “with it” than you.
Mean girls. They are everywhere. Cleverly disguised like Leon Schuster. You know you’ve been “mean girl’d” when you suddenly feel the need to fabricate the truth behind where you bought your jersey (Mr Price. On sale. 4 years ago.) Or the times when you address a group of people and it’s as if they’ve all suddenly gone deaf… at the same time… because no one acknowledges you. Or worse, they do acknowledge you, in the worst kind of way, and you feel as if you’re an insect underneath a magnifying glass.
On a hot day. In Durban.
If I am allowed to keep it real, and I shall, allow me to point out that “mean girl syndrome” is not only a high school thing. I was “mean girl’d” all through my 20s and did not even know it until I got home one day and thought of a clever answer to someone’s reoccurring snarky remarks (don’t you hate it when that happens?). It got me thinking: why am I still fighting this battle?! Adults shouldn’t have to be mean girls. We are adults for goodnessakes! We have other things to think about! (Bills, kids, supper, is Madonna STILL releasing albums?!) But nope, it’s still there.
Like a ninja. Hidden, but everywhere.
Now a days you’ll find the “mean girl syndrome” strewn all over social media in the form of “wisdom”. You know what I’m talking about… It’s the people who seem to be sitting around, waiting for someone to update their status so that they can leave a snooty comment, explaining why your thinking is of a lower intellectual level than a spoon. Sometimes they’ll go that one step further and update their status with subliminal messages aimed at putting others down or “on their place” (as is the aim). Everybody is wrong. Except them.
Yep, mean girls. You’ve either felt a little less of a human being because of them OR (let’s be honest) you’ve been one of them. Hey I’ll put my pride in my pocket and admit that I’ve been ‘mean girl’d’ AND I’ve been the mean girl on many occasions.
Let’s think this one through… Have you purposefully avoided someone because they’ve annoyed you or did and said things differently to how you do? Or maybe you snicker behind someones back, with one of your friends, because “does she even know how weird her hair style is”? Or maybe you have the innate desire to ‘school’ people on Facebook… in the queue at the shops… while you’re driving… At the parent/teacher meeting (and you’re not even the teacher). Hmmm… a bit of self-reflection is needed.
So how do we nip the “mean girl” spirit in the bud? I think it all boils down to identity and being secure in who you are. It is such a big lesson to teach our young girls. Value yourself! You are important! You are unique!
Getting these foundations down will help them to grow into confident, bold, women who are aware of other peoples emotions. You don’t need to break some one else down, in order to feel bigger. I always ask Hubstopher: “Do you KNOW who I AM?” – Meaning, I am aware that I am precious, valuable, intelligent and a child of the King. Knowing who I am leaves no room for ANYONE to make me feel bad about myself. But it also makes me aware of the little things that do not add value to me (eg. when I act like a poophead = not adding value).