• Lockdown lessons
    Heart matters

    Lockdown lessons: I need to be alone sometimes

    I remember waking up the day after lockdown had commenced, and realising that I don’t really have anything to prepare for. (I mean, duh, I still work from home, but that’s not what I’m talking about). I mean: there were no events to plan, schedules to manage and family time to balance. I didn’t have to stress about washing my hair or finding the perfect outfit or making sure that I have a babysitter. There were no bags to pack and no clothes to iron. No rehearsals to plan for and no meetings to prepare for. No lunch to make. No phone calls to take, as I dash out of…

  • Heart matters

    Childhood story: The boy who smiled

    My childhood years were pretty boring and uneventful. I grew up in a two bedroomed home, in (what some would call) the “hood” of Port Elizabeth. My neighbors, and childhood friends, were Afrikaans speaking and my sister and I (both very much of the English speaking variant of brown people) kinda fumbled our way through communicating with them but, somehow, we all made it work, unperturbed. Our summer holidays were the best. We woke up extra early to a quick breakfast of jam sandwiches and hot tea, and hastily dressed ourselves in arb short and t-shirt combos, running our fingers through our long hair until we were presentable enough to…

  • Heart matters

    Privilege? Check.

    I don’t know about you guys but our current lock down situation is showing me flames. It’s hard to be content with staying in one place when you have ish to do, right? I mean, lock down has forced me to cancel events, hair appointments, coffee dates… I’m so annoyed! Also, I desperately need a Big Mac meal. Argh, this is so frustrating. The outcry! The heartbreak! However will I cope?! Aaand right there, in that moment, is when I realize that I am being a chop and that I need to check my privilege. You see, friends, privilege probably looks a lot different to each person. I mean, it’s…

  • my teenage crush
    Heart matters

    My teenage crush didn’t know that we were in a relationship

    Come on friends, I’m sure we were all guilty of crushing on a Hollywood heartthrob at some point in our young lives. You know what I’m talking about… that ‘lay in bed, poster on the ceiling, write his name all over our school books’ kinda infatuation that could only be cured by seeing what your first name would look like with his last name next to it. (Tip: Vin Diesel’s surname isn’t really Diesel.) The Tom Cruise’s and Leonardo diCaprio’s of our time could certainly rival today’s celebrity dreamboat’s and they’d probably win by a mile. (Or is that the ‘old aunty’ in me talking?) I mean, what do these…

  • Covid
    Heart matters

    #Covid19 – Why I haven’t been posting about it

    So our darling Presi’s official announcement (about a nationwide shutdown) was absolutely well-received last night, right? I mean, for the most part. Some peeps are still outchere, trying to cheat the system by breaking government rules. Lest your social life be affected by a virus that kills people. I mean, the audacity. But, for the most part, we’re all very relieved that very stringent measures have been put in place to help #flattenthecurve. Social media has been quite an interesting place to visit the past few days. I mean, I go there for the Social Justice Unicorns who single-handedly save the world one post at a time, while reprimanding everyone…

  • size of a mustard seed
    Heart matters

    Faith over Fear: The size of a mustard seed

    Guest post – Fear is a powerful thing – but so is faith. And if I have to choose a stronger force, I would say faith is the strongest every time. Fear lies to us in our weakest, most vulnerable moments. It tells us we will never be able to do this. We will never get through to the other side. We will never be loved or accepted for who we are. We will never succeed at x, y or z. Fear picks up apart, piece by piece. It rears its ugly head in the worst moments, when you are already clutching onto your last straw. But if you know God’s love and goodness and the power…

  • Heart matters

    Faith over Fear: The back up plan

    Guest post – Fear is my middle name. We are well acquainted.  So are many people living in this country. Fear follows you when you leave your house at night. Fear breathes down your neck when you see protests flash on the T.V. screen. Fear drives people onto one-way flights. But in my case, the state of this country does not inject fear into my veins. Sure, it’s not pleasant. Sure, I’m sometimes scared. But my fear is driven by something deeper. It’s fuelled by a frightening uncertainty and, frankly, a lack of trust. Allow me to put you in the picture. I’ve dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom all…

  • The law of attraction
    Heart matters

    Faith over Fear: The law of attraction

    For a long time I would send myself into a crazy anxiety attack, as I lay in bed at night thinking that every single sound I hear is out to get me and my family. Did I hear someone at the door? What if a gang of tsotsi’s are breaking in, what happens to my kids?! Am I smelling smoke? What do I do if there’s a fire?! Did I switch off all the plugs in the kitchen? What would my family do if there’s an explosion?! Is the baby breathing? Did I just hear Jonah choke on something? Is someone at the window? … and the beat goes on……

  • Motherhood
    Heart matters

    An ode to the end of maternity leave (it’s also a celebration)

    The other day, my friend Ella remarked that it’s especially hard to blog when you’re going through stuff. Because, quite simply, you’re not always lus to air out your issues on your social platforms, man. I mean, I’m totally not one of those aunties, in the hood, who skels in the street. But, also, some of us aren’t that good at faking the happy. Like, if I’m upset, I’d rather talk about it. In a super descriptive blog post. Like a normal person. (hahaha) This is a huge problem when you’re all about promoting “being the light” and all that jazz. I mean, it’s hard to be positive/happy/not a turd…

  • Heart matters

    It’s 2020 and I still don’t have visible abs

    So it’s the start of a new year and the end of my maternity leave and I’m outchere SO ready for this new season! I love this place! “And what place is that, my dear?” I hear you ask. (Okay, I didn’t really hear you ask, that was just me talking to myself). Well, this “place” I am referring to is the mental head space one finds oneself in, at the start of a new year. You know what I’m talking about…  the feeling of being absolutely ready (read: desperate) for positive change. It is very closely followed by the feeling that things are going to be kwaai overnight. Lies, I…