Heart matters

The 5 most embarrassing things I’ve said on my blog

If you’ve met me on any given day, you’d know that I am super good at being spontaneous… in an awkward way. Like that time when someone, at a local conference, asked me where I’m from (referring to the company I work for), and I replied with “Port Elizabeth”. Duh. Anyways, so I’ve seen this awkward spontaneity spill over into my blog. Most days I’m pretty okay with it, because I figure it makes for interesting reading, if anything. But sometimes its so awkward that my close friend would call me and be like: “I can’t believe you blogged about THAT!” Maybe it’s bravery. Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s because I type these things up at 1am, while trying to avoid the need to munch down on carbs. Whatevs. It is what it is. So, because I seem to like drama, I’m adding fuel to the awkward, by reminding you guys of some of the most embarrassing things I’ve said on my blog. You ready? Okay, great. Here they are:

I shouldn’t be alive
For my birthday, one year, I decided to chat about the many near-death experiences I’ve had. Some of you called it inspiring. Others sipped on their tea, enjoying the cringe-factor, while reading my personal stories of stupidity. One post, in particular, really sparked alot of interest. The post was titled “I shouldn’t be alive… I could have been aborted.” In the post, I shared about my moms teen pregnancy experience and how she could have chosen to have me aborted. This post meant alot to me because I pretty much went through the exact same experience and now have a wonderful Kyle to show for it. I know that it’s a sensitive topic and it was a bit of a personal share, but I don’t regret it one bit.

the man on womens dayLetting him be the man
One year, for women’s month, I wrote a post called “letting him be the man on Women’s Day“. The post was meant to encourage wives to, you know, honor their husbands etc. It basically spoke about how I rely on my own Hubstopher and how much I ENJOY that I can rely on him. In retrospect, the post was great and all that, but totally did not hit the nail on the head, in terms of Women’s Month and the kind of stuff that we are going through, as females in a male-dominated world. A few days after I had posted it, I went back to re-read it (as one does, when one has a psychotic spreadsheet brain) and I just cringed the whole day after that. I’ve decided to leave it up anyways. And now I’m telling you guys about it. So there’s it.

Discrimination in my life
One of my posts is called “When discrimination has nothing to do with race or gender” and speaks about how I often felt discriminated against, because of my religion. Now, firstly, I’m not embarrassed to call myself a born-again Christian. I’m very proud of it. But I must admit, I did feel a bit awkward, posting about such a rife topic. I don’t get into debates about religion or politics, just as a simple rule of thumb. You want to know more? I don’t mind answering questions. But I don’t stir up the offense-pot, if you know what I mean. So this post took a lot of guts to write… and post… and now talk about. Aaack.

My “Four kids later and I’m not coping” post was so painful to write, you guys! It was so embarrassing to share the fact that I feel like I’m failing at life. But my blog is my therapy, to a degree, and I needed to put those words somewhere. I was so thankful for the kind messages you guys sent me… the ones that told me I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed and that I’m doing a good job etc. You guys rock. Truth be told, I STILL don’t feel as if I’m coping. And I wonder if I ever will. I guess we never do… feel like we’re coping, that is. Unless you’re like, Beyonce and Oprah is your mother and she’s married to Nelson Mandela.

His ex is not psychoHis ex is not psycho
So my “his ex is not psycho” got a lot of attention and I had to basically clear up that, hello, I’m not talking about anyone specific. Well, I mean, besides for the specific person that I mention in the post and even so, I feel like I was vague enough for it to not affect the parties involved. Anyways, it was a bit of an embarrassing situation for me, since I am friends with my own ex’s and I realized that the post may have painted them in a bad light. Sometimes a topic really hits home – but is not necessarily something that I have first hand experience with. It kinda made me realize that some people may mistake a blog post as a bit of an upgrade on a subliminal status update. Which is not always the case, I promise.

But hey, to be honest you guys, I love that I get to share some of my crazy with you. I do it with the hopes that you can relate and find some sort of solace or inspiration through my story. Or that it’s helped you to take a break from your own crazy world, and have a good ol’ chuckle. Again, thank you for reading.

Without you, I’m just out here monologue-ing and staring into space like a Forester. Thank you for being the beautiful to my bold. (<— that totally just happened by itself and guess what I’m going to leave it there. Embarassing for what?!) 

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