His ex is not psycho

If you’re a female and you’ve had your fair share of relationship drama, chances are you’ve been labelled “psycho” or “psychotic” once or twice in your life.

No doubt by a fuming ex-boyfriend who is desperately seeking bravado and/or redemption in the eyes of his easily entertained group of friends and/or his easily influenced new love interest.

I mean, he needs to let them know that he is better off without you. And the new love interest needs to know that she is, duh, a gazillion times better than you are. And, more importantly, the man needs to feel like “the man”. I get it. (Not really)

But why she got to be psycho, bruh?

And hey, new girlfriend, do you honestly believe that the irrevocable breakdown of their relationship was all due to his ex turning “Gone Girl” on him? The truth is this, ladies, his ex is not psycho.

Heartbroken, probably. Trying to heal, most likely. Still getting over the breakdown of their relationship, definitely. But psycho? I can’t say I agree.

“Why the monologue, Luchae?!” I hear you cry out in confusion and amusement. Well, allow me to explain: The other night I had a convo with a very troubled young lady who had recently been through a break up. I mean, the girl was totally cut up. But she was especially hurt that her ex referred to her as psycho. I mean, I can vouch for this girl. She is smart, beautiful, compassionate and has all her ducks in a row. On a scale of one to Joffrey Baratheon, she’s probably a -8 on the psycho barometer. I mean, she’s totally a Stark, if we’re going to talk GOT.

And yet she was called psycho by a seething ex who thought that the girl had no right to message him a week after the break up because she was hurting. He did not want her to talk to his friends. And he did not understand why she was still emotionally attached to certain things that they had shared when they were together.

Did I mention that they had been broken up for less than a month after a very lengthy relationship?

So this girl – my friend, Lady Stark – was meant to, you know, strip herself of all emotion and sentimentality the minute he decided that he was over the relationship. Lady Stark had to immediately – IMMEDIATELY – be devoid of all feelings for him regardless of the emotional investment she had poured into the relationship.

If you had to ask me (which you didn’t but here I am, still giving you my opinion), HE was acting a tad bit psychotic. HE was the psycho. I mean, come on, we are human beings and we all process differently. Maybe you need a week to get over it, but bruh, I need six months. Does that make me psychotic? No. It makes me human. You go on ahead and be the Robocop of the feelings world. But allow me to keep it real, stay true to myself and more importantly HEAL the way I need to.

Anyways, my point (I do have one, somewhere in my handbag, sorry I really need to clean this thing out) is this: Ladies, if your new boo calls his ex psycho, please ask him to stop. She does not deserve it. And neither do you. You don’t need him to insult her, in order to lift you up. And hey, even if she does some questionable things due to hosting a broken heart (don’t look at me like that, you know we’ve all been there), be gracious at all times. Be kind. Be strong enough to look past her temporary moment of weakness.

Don’t be the woman that allows a man to break another woman down! Especially when it’s uncalled for and unnecessary. We’ve given men the power to speak things over us for far too long! Well, I say: NO MORE!

At the end of the day, at some level or other, we’re all somebody’s ex… somebody’s “one that got away”… somebody’s “biggest mistake of my life”. But more than that, ladies, we’re all sisters.

Flawed, maybe. But psycho, definitely not.