Heart matters

To the skinny girl who calls herself fat

I use to be a skinny girl who called herself fat. Know anyone like that? Or are you that person? It’s okay, we’re all friends here. No judgies. Well, I was that person. But, in all honesty, granted I had a few extra lumps and bumps here and there, I wasn’t exactly struggling with my weight. I’m still not, yo. And yet, I still found myself saying pointless things like “Argh, I shouldn’t eat this, I’m so fat.” I only recently (like, yesterday-recently) realized how much of an idiot I am for saying stupid things like that. Like, seriously, is having some “fat” on your body really such a big catastrophe? Who made up that rule? Send that person to the naughty corner. With a donut.

The truth of the matter is that when you call yourself fat, you are inadvertently body shaming. And guys, body shaming is basically the same as bullying. It’s ugly. I did not realize how insensitive my body shaming was until a young girl came to me and, with tears in her eyes, said “I don’t like the shape of my body.” I looked at her aghast! Like, you’re 13 years old! Literally. Your body should be the last thing you worry about!

I wondered where on earth she came up with this nonsense idea that she is not beautiful exactly the way she is. Where did it all start?! And then, on Monday, I posted a status on Facebook saying that I just kick started my diet, with a samoosa. It was a very delicious samoosa, none the less, but my whole conversation, on that day, was about how “fat” I thought I was. Could you get any more obnoxious?

And therein was the answer. I was to blame. I was giving this precious girl the idea that being “chubby” was wrong. It was my fault. Mine. Yours. The lady at the hairdresser who called herself enormous. Her mother, who wouldn’t wear a swimming costume because of the dimples in her thighs. We are all to blame.


Here are some revelations I’ve had since then:

1. Being healthy is not the same as being skinny. Skinny is not normal and being chubby is not abnormal. Your normal is who you are… exactly who YOU are. Yes, be healthy, but no, you don’t have to conform to anyone elses idea of normal.

2. It’s okay to like food guys. It’s okay to eat. But do it in moderation and make good decisions. (Mince samoosa, anyone?)

3. Your words have the power to create. If you must speak something over yourself, how about making it positive?

4. I am super insensitive when I body shame myself, because someone else who is really struggling with a similar issue on a larger scale could be hurt or offended by my words. Like, hello?

5. How you look is not who you are. It doesn’t affect your worth, your intelligence, your ability to show love and kindness. How you look does not determine how valuable you are.

So, on behalf of not-fat people, all around the world, I apologize for my words, for running with misconceptions as if they are the truth and for (subconsciously) bullying others into thinking that skinny is life. Clearly, I don’t know what I’m talking about.


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