Heart matters

Letting him be the man on Women’s Day

letting him be the man on womens daySo it’s Women’s Day today and I guess I’m meant to feel super duper woman-like and rah rah girl power and all that jazz. But instead, I woke up thinking how much I love that I get to depend on a man, my man, for some things. I mean, I know that I can probably change my own tyre, but I like that I don’t have to. I’m sure I could figure out how to work the PVR or muster up the energy to have conversations about weeds with the gent who cleans our garden… but hey, why should I? I don’t even drive myself places, if I don’t have to. And I sometimes even ask my man if he thinks my dress is too short or what his thoughts are on my career moves or whether he likes my cooking.

It wasn’t always like this though. As a former single mom, I’ve discovered that the “single-mom-itis” lingers even after you’re married. Having Kyle at such a young age taught me to be independent and brave. Because we lived alone, I answered to no one and did not allow anyone to create havoc in our little world. Heck, I hardly invited anyone over to visit! (Seriously, ask my friends) I worked so hard to keep it all together, to the point where I was okay with doing it all by myself. So when my hubstopher came along I found it extremely hard to allow him to be the man. To me that meant handing over some control. I did NOT need him. And I did NOT want to need him! I mean, hello, I can do it myself! What’s your story dude? Can’t you just buy me flowers and stuff?

009editedWell, as it turns out, he wasn’t okay with just buying me flowers (and stuff). Because he is a man, and he wanted to do what all men crave to do – be the man. No, this is not a display of bravado or a way to feed his ego. We were designed this way, yo. By allowing your husband – who’m you trust and love – to take up his rightful place as the “man of the household”, you create a space for him to practice humility, responsibility and consistency.

In this day and age of “who run the world – girls” I think that we forget how easy it is to emasculate our husbands when we act as if we don’t need them in our lives. So much emphasis has been put on how strong and capable women are. Can you do it all by yourself? – probably. But the beauty of allowing your man to be a man, as you accept your role as a woman, is simply breathtaking.

I believe that I excel – in all my feminine glory – when my hubstopher is being who he is meant to be. I’m sure I could do almost everything that he could (I am woman, hear me brag) but why would I want to? And I like that I am confident and secure enough to let him be the man. I am proud that I’m okay with taking a step back, if I can and when I have to. I mean, I’m still pretty amazing. Not getting the biggest piece of chicken at the supper table won’t change that.


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