How to react when someone laughs at you
So the other day, I was hanging around, minding my own business when I noticed someone making fun out of me behind my back. You guys, it shocked me so much that I had no words. And this is coming from someone who talks in her sleep. It shocked me because, firstly, hello we completed our schooling many, many years ago. What playground is this and who on earth decided we’re going to be 12 again? Secondly, why behind my back? Why not to my face? And lastly, the thing that they were gossiping about is actually such a heart sore topic for me right now; I could not even believe that someone would tease me about it.
Okay, so for those of you who have actually seen me in real life (yes, people, I’m not a robot, I actually do exist in reality), you’ll notice that I walk with a limp. The limp has always been slight and unnoticeable, but over the past few years it has become a lot more prominent. The reason why I limp is because my one leg is shorter than the other. This is due to the fact that my positioning, while I was in my momma’s womb, wasn’t normal at all. My one leg was bent under the other, in utero. This then caused the left leg to not grow at the same rate as the right leg.
Now, guys, let me tell ya, I’ve lived a pretty normal life up until this point. I feel like laughing as I’m typing this, because seriously this long leg/short leg situation did not affect my childhood at all. Like, it was a non-issue.
And then, a few years ago, I started getting a pain in my left hip. The hip pain I could deal with. But it was soon preceded by these mind numbing headaches that I swear was birthed out of the pit of hell. These throbbing headaches are so intense that it makes me nauseous and causes blurry vision. When I’m having an episode, the only way I get relief is by lying down on a flat surface (try explaining that to a suspicious husband who thinks I’m trying to pawn the kids off on him all the time) or by resting my head against something (which is not ideal in an office setting or when you’re on a stage, if you know what I mean.)
One day, after a particularly bad migraine, my chiropractor informed me that the many years of having one leg shorter than the other has had an affect on my spine. My spine is now bent (basically leaning to one side) which is not normal. This is the reason why I have permanent tension in my back and neck and, yep, it explains the mind numbing headaches.
The solution? A splint in my shoe. This would be fine, except that over the past few years, the difference in length between my two legs have grown from like, 1 cm to about 4 cm. So the gap is considerably big right now. The splint would be very noticeable and probably very uncomfortable. I would also only be able to wear certain types of shoes etc.
Okay so why am I telling you all of this? I mean, besides for the fact that oversharing is kinda what I do around here. Well, the other day I caught someone making fun out of my limp, you guys. It was so ugly… they just laughed and laughed and mimicked their little minds away and I just sat there shocked, pretending not to see. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know how to stand up for myself. The comfortable Luchae would be like, “Uhhh, are you trying to mimic me, coz you’re doing a pretty terrible job, here let me show you how to do it.” But the uncomfortable, shocked, hurt me, just sat and looked, you guys. Like a child. On the playground. Being bullied. I felt like I was being bullied.
And then it dawned on me. This person actually has no idea what they are talking about. And this isn’t me being vague – they literally have not asked me about the limp at all!
If they had asked, they would know that the headaches (due to the short leg/limp) is the reason why I go quiet sometimes. It’s the reason why I don’t always participate in physical activities. It’s the reason why I don’t wear high heels often and can’t stand for long periods of time.
But they did not ask. And so they were misinformed. Humor me as I use the word “misinformed”. I have to, you see. Because no one can be that hurtful on purpose, right?It would mean that they also laugh at little kids who have down syndrome and people in wheel chairs and those who have an eye condition or a speech impediment. I just HAVE to believe that this is not the case… that these people are not really that mean/ignorant/easily amused. They probably just need a little bit of knowledge and information to help them understand my situation. Right?
Be that as it may, going through this experience reminded me that their reaction to my pain is not a reflection of ME, it’s a reflection of, well, who they are. So there’s that. Take it as you want. But more than anything, it reminded me just how ignorant I am when I mock someone else for their pain, without fully understanding their story.
My Hubstopher told me to call them out on it. But I didn’t want to. I mean, I am not a victim, and I wasn’t about to give something this ugly a pedestal. But now, in hindsight, I wonder if I should have. So here’s where you come in, friends. Please share your opinions and thoughts below, I would love to hear it.
Have you ever felt personally victimized? Can you relate? What would you have done in my situation?
Disclaimer: I do believe that God can heal my leg and I am fully expectant for a miracle.
20 Comments
Veronica
My Ouma had one leg shorter than the other and I found her limp so endearing. It may sound weird but her walk is a fond memory I have of her.
Remember that children learn this ugliness from the adults around them. I’ve also been victimised by adults. My worst was probably last year. I’m very overweight. I also have a chronic illness and the required medication makes it difficult to lose weight. Last year I was 3 months post partum and going out for the first time without my baby to celebrate my birthday with friends. Some woman decided to pull my friend aside to discuss my weight and how she feels sorry for me and knows some miracle nonsense that will help me lose weight. She knew nothing about me or my situation and she was too cowardly to talk to me directly about it but really should have been minding her own business. I was so humiliated as my skinny friend didn’t understand that it would embarrass me to tell everyone else there what the woman was saying. We were leaving but I had to stop my hubby going back to give her a piece of my mind. I think I cried over it for about 3 days. People don’t know the damage they do…
Luchae
Thank you for sharing V. You are right… people don’t understand how much damage their (unneeded, unwelcome) OPINION can do. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that!
Melanie
I honestly can relate to this people still laugh at me when I stutter
I still get these weird looks when you speaking to someone then all of a sudden you stutter its seriously not nice sometimes I don’t even feel like talking
But when they laugh at you or make fun of you behind your back is the worse especially when they don’t understand
Luchae
My Hubby has a stutter, and I always thought it was so endearing. When we first met, I spoke to him about it. I feel that talking about it, rather than gossiping behind the persons back, is a better way of handling something that you dont understand. Because lets face it – thats what it is – a lack of understanding! I’m really sorry that you’ve had to feel as if there is something wrong with you, when you’re beautiful just the way you are!
Zaahida N Joel | Journey with Mum
I am so sorry that adults feel the need to behave like this mxm! They prob have smth they are conscious about too, But that doesn’t justify it! Welcome to another one – leg .- is – shorter – than – the other – girl over here and I used to get mocked in school for the way I walk too. I only recently found out about it but it explains my bad hip pain and migraines…eish
Luchae
We should start a “one leg shorter” support group! lol
Andrea Bester
I actually think adults are worse bullies and really don’t think or care . It sucks but you did the right thing. Sometimes reacting when you hurt or emotional can just go wrong. Hope you feel better.
Luchae
So true! I think we just expect more from adults. So dissapointing.
Melissa Javan (@melissa_nel)
Ai jinne meisie, I would have done the same, said nothing, shut up. I also have one leg shorter than the other (left leg being shorter). I’ve been told I walk funny but I don’t notice it. I’m sorry about the headaches and all the stuff. Even if you follow husband’s advice, I’m sure you’ll do it in a nice way, like you would explain something to your kids. We love you xoxo
Venean
People just suck. I can’t believe it. Also like how old are you? I nearly passed out today in hospital and every single person around was shocked and worried. Not 1 person was like bwahahahaha.. And you know what I needed that because I’m not at that age anymore and this is serious… I know calling them out might have felt good but sometimes it’s not worth it. God is out refuge and our advocate! Hope you feel better my friend
Luchae
YES friend! People suck.
Bev
I can’t believe what I just read now. Who the hell are these small minded ignorant stupid people. U know for once I’m speechless. The reason y u never had a shoe fit, was because the specialists thought as you lead a normal life, no pain or limping it wasn’t necessary……
Luchae
Exactly! I was fine!
Anthea
Wow. That’s truelly horrible. I admire the way you wrote this with such honesty. I’d have just been so hurt so good on you for being so big about this.
Janel Sunderlall
Its so sad that there are people like this in the world. They must have no life to be talking about you or anyone for that matter..i realised one thing and that’s when people talk about you they are either jealous or you must be extremely important for them to even use their breath to be speaking your name Dont worry about people like this. Bless them and carry on with life. If you give them power over your mind then they have won. Forgive them and move on because i firmly believe that God deals with people like this in His time..i am so sorry you experienced this
Megan Keith
Ah I’m so sorry you had to go that. I think, based on how you were feeling in that moment, you handled it the best y you knew how. Maybe it would be an idea to broach the subject with this person sometime in the near future, and just let them know how you felt, and that what they did really hurt you? That way you can have peace that you have had your say, and maybe they will think twice next time? Megan xxx
Carren
Hi ladies; Luchae love ur honest post and love the comments from all. I also have a shorter leg and (sometimes) limo when I’m really tired I like to believe that I’m masking it well hahaha. Yeah right. To be honest I don’t care what people think of me. This is how God chose for me to be. There’s is absolutely nothing I can or want to do about it. My scars are mine; my limp is mine; I own it. So to those who think they are perfect good on u but I’m so happy knowing my flaws and still loving myself. My niece calls me her role model… She told me one day (she was about 12/13 at the time) “I admire u so much coz U DON’T WORRY WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF U; u can be in an ugly purple gown (I was wearing said ugly purple gown at the time) swirl kous and no make up and u would still be living ur best life”. that changed my life. To know she’s striving towards trying to not be affected by what bullies say about her (because of the example I set) was profound for me. It hurts being mocked. Let’s just stand up and draw closer to those being mocked. Show them they are not alone. Like u just did. Love u friend❤️
Kay-leigh
I’m so sorry that people can be so mean. I have a daughter who has a speech disability and I can see how people look at her and how frustrated she gets when trying to explain. I’m so quick to help cause I dont want her to have to do it on her own. it gets tough but she’s so strong and happy girl. just worry when I’m not there anymore. who will stick up for her or understand when she wants something…… ahhhhhhh love you blog. thank you.
I feel you did the right thing in not saying anything. something so ugly doesn’t need attention
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