Lockdown lessons
Heart matters

Lockdown lessons: I need to be alone sometimes

I remember waking up the day after lockdown had commenced, and realising that I don’t really have anything to prepare for. (I mean, duh, I still work from home, but that’s not what I’m talking about).

I mean: there were no events to plan, schedules to manage and family time to balance. I didn’t have to stress about washing my hair or finding the perfect outfit or making sure that I have a babysitter.

There were no bags to pack and no clothes to iron. No rehearsals to plan for and no meetings to prepare for. No lunch to make. No phone calls to take, as I dash out of the house, with my laptop bag in my one hand and my 5 year old’s hand in the other, trying to dodge my crying baby’s arms.

So I lay there, on day 1 of lockdown, marveling at the stillness (of my brain, not my household, there are a gazillion small people in my home) and I think to myself: is this what living life actually feels like?

I mean, sure it’s lekker to be busy and to be surrounded with people all the time. But for someone like me… someone with a spreadsheet brain… planning and prepping can sometimes take precedence over the “living” part.

The “being” part of ‘human being’ becomes more important than the “human” part.

And honestly speaking, this revelation is not new to me. I know that I’m a busy lady (sometimes too busy, as my husband often points out) and I know that I need to slow down in this season of raising babies.

But no matter how hard I tried (okay, did I really try, let’s be honest) I could never slow down all the way. There would always be something or someone tugging at me to take on added responsibility. And I would always oblige because I figured that, well, I have the capacity to do it, so why not.

But the thing about being TOO busy is that your business becomes your focus. Not the task. Not the people. Just the fact that you’re busy. “Argh, I have so much to do” instead of “Aack, I’m so enjoying this right now”.

Even the Bible speaks about focusing on the right thing, so that the “things of the world” can fade away and the main things can stay main, in your life.

Being too busy means that you’re not focused on the right thing. In my case, the right thing would be spending time with God and obviously would include things like raising my babies, investing in my marriage and making sure that I am emotionally and physically healthy.

Anyways, with that said, my time, in isolation, has kinda been like a factory reset button. The actual “isolation” part of being “in isolation” has been a blessing to me. There, I said it.

I know that the Covid-19 lockdown isn’t all sunshine and roses… I mean, it’s more sucky than it is lekker. But, hey, atleast it gave me a minute to sort out the junk in my head.

Have you had any lockdown revelations?

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