Hey husband, remember me? I’m your wife. Well, atleast I think I am. Okay, I was your wife the last time I checked and we still live in the same house, so I’m more than sure that I actually am your wife. How are you? No, I mean, how are you reallly? Oh, me? I’m okay, I guess. Slightly tired. Mainly exhausted. Wait, those two are the same thing. Anyways, I came here today to chat to you about the fact that it sometimes feels as if you’re not my husband anymore.
No, I mean, it feels as if you’re not MY husband. I know you’re A husband because you’re a pro at being a hubby and a daddy. It’s weirdly attractive. But I digress. What I meant to say is that sometimes it feels as if you’re not MY husband. You know? The guy who has been set apart just for lil ol’ me? Yeah, that one. I miss that one.
What went wrong? I guess it’s more along the lines of what went right. And the answer would always be our children and the home we’re building together. It’s the best part about being yours and you being mine – the fact that we get to raise these bundles of
poop joy together and watch them figure the world out while we pay their school fees (sigh… school fees).
But, husband, what I actually want to say is: please don’t forget me? I know, the rent needs to be paid and the oil in the car needs to be changed and someone needs to check if we have enough life insurance (and I nominate you to take care of these exciting things). But in the midst of all of the life-living, don’t forget me. Don’t forget to hold my hand and give me little hugs while I’m cooking. Don’t forget to tell me I look nice or that you missed me after a long day at the office. Don’t forget to tell me you love me. I still need to hear it. Like, all the time. No seriously, all the time.
And I promise, I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the guy I married, who is buried underneath all of the husbanding and fathering that you do. I won’t forget how hilarious I once thought your silly sense of humor was. Or that you like it when I rub your shoulders. I won’t forget how much words of affirmation mean to you and that it means a lot when I cook you special meals.
Because, the truth is that, as much as our children need us to parent them, they also need to see us loving on each other. Our version of a healthy, happy marriage, is a blueprint for theirs. Loving each other and working through conflict and trials together – as a unit – is the greatest lessons we can teach our kids, without having to say a single word to them. Maybe we can work on showing them that we are more inlove with each other, than we are annoyed. (Fine balance sometimes, I know.)
So husband, remember me. Remember me and all that you love about me. I mean, I’m still the woman you fell head over heels with many years (and pants sizes) ago. The one who you find insanely attractive and wildly interesting. I’m still here, somewhere. And yes, sometimes you may have to dig a little deeper to find her, but I promise, I’m worth the search.