Honest mothering: being a mother sucks

being a mother sucksBeing a mother sucks. What? You don’t agree? Wait, maybe I wasn’t being clear: You know all the amazing parts of being someones mom? Stuff like hearing them call you “mama” for the first time and being able to snuggle up next to them as you read ‘Good night, Mouse’ for the umpteenth time? Well, those things seem extremely over-rated when you’re exhausted after having to change your bedding (thanks to a massive squirt of newborn poop) and then have to referee an argument between a 2-year old and a 15-year old about who gets to sit on the “big couch”. Oh, hi there, excuse me where are my manners. My name is Luchae Williams and I am the proud owner mother of one newborn, one toddler, step-mom to one primary schooler and mom to one extremely opinionated highschooler. Mental status: Currently losing my mind.

I know, I know, I can hear what you’re thinking. And allow me to reiterate: I DO love my children and I am aware that there are hundreds of women who would give actual limbs to be in my position. But hey, sometimes being mom means keeping it real. And the reality is that my kids drive me crazy! Like “Gone Girl” crazy. Like shaving my hair off ala Britney Spears crazy.

Do your kids make you want to go to the toilet to just sit there, and enjoy the silence? Welcome, friend! Do you often find yourself thinking “oh, just go away!” with a smile on your face, while listening to another boring story about soccer? I see you, girlfriend! Have you ever dreamt about your life pre-children, with stars in your eyes and longing in your heart? I feel your pain, Jane! Does feeling this way make us bad people? Uhhh, nope. After hearing a panel of very real moms share about their very real lives at the Baby Dove launch yesterday, I realized that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Being a parent is not easy and if you think about it, no one asked us to be superhuman. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?

You know the saying about kids being your heart on the outside of your body? Well that’s the truest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’m old… so I’ve heard a lot of things in my life. The thing is, children trick you. They make you believe that you’re going to fall pregnant, or find that perfect adoption agency, or marry that guy, and suddenly be Super Parent… in a land filled with domesticated sunshine and roses and finger painting parties in the backyard. You chat about a future that holds sleepless nights, more expenses and less time for yourself and you actually think that you’re READY for it. But truth be told, you’re never really ready.

And once that kid is there, in your world, in living color. Oh boy! There is no. turning. back. You are in it for life! Nothing else will be more important ever again. You find yourself semi-moaning (okay in this case alot-of-moaning) about how your kids tire you out and steal your time but the truth is, you don’t want and can’t see a life without them. And no amount of sleep or glitzy career moves or toned abdominal muscles will EVER come close to the way you feel when they call you mama for the first time or when you’re snuggled up reading ‘Good night, Mouse’ for the umpteenth time.

You become vulnerable… all your mushy parts exposed… living life with your heart on the outside of your body, in tiny human form. And if you’re a spreadsheet brain like I am, you’ll probably think that being a mom sucks too because it feels SO good to belong to them… to be so weak and yet so strong. It’s beautiful and scary and empowering and so very humbling all at the same time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s worth it.

Our newborn photo shoot with Cutepix Photography

newborn photo shootRemember how much I bragged about Michelle over at Cutepix Photography? Well, the proof is in the pudding and this post right here is the pudding, ladies and gentleman. Well, MY pudding, to be exact… look at that face! I was so chuffed to be able to plan Jonah’s newborn photo shoot with Michelle. After seeing the amazing way she orchestrated Kari’s first birthday cake smash shoot, I knew that I would be pleased with Jo’s pics! I saw this shoot as a way to capture the beauty of our Jonah, fresh out of the oven. But it was also a way to celebrate his life and all the promise that we see over it! I’d like to celebrate with you too! I will be giving away a very special gift at the end of this post. But first… more pics! (more…)

Recovery after birth: how to stay sane

Recovery after birthWhether you’re a first time mom or a ‘last time mom’, like me, the first few weeks after giving birth are usually very challenging. I know what you’re thinking: “What?! Is it not enough that I carried this kid around for nine months and then went through a very physical labour that resulted in me exposing more of my mind, body and soul than I care to?!” Okay, calm down, Patricia. Yes, post-birth can be just as challenging as the actual labour was. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ve found a few simple things that has really helped to make my recovery after birth more comfortable. (more…)

Newborn photography tips

newborn photography tipsSwoon! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m convinced that mine is the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world! There’s just something about a fresh baby that melts the heart. Small hands, small toes, inability to backchat (moms of teens, hollar!) The freshness, innocence and purity of a newborn baby is the stuff that broody feelings are made of. We decided to document Jonahs “freshness” but I knew that I had to call in the big guns. I mean, a newborn photo shoot is not exactly something one attempts at home with a cellphone camera. Enter: Michelle of Cutepix Baby and Child Photography! She shared some excellent newborn photography tips and helped to set my mind at ease as I prepped for Jonah’s very first photo shoot. (more…)

Inducing labour: My birth story

Inducing labourAs far as these things go, I’ve always considered myself pretty expert at giving birth. My first two deliveries were quick and easy and yes, there was pain, but I could handle it to the point that I laughed through most of the contractions. Literally, laughed. But the birth of my son, last Thursday was way different. I think that inducing labour played a big role in that. But hey, let’s start at the beginning: (more…)

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