Heart matters

Do you feel like you suck?

“Meh. My life sucks.” A mantra.

Yeah, what a weird way to start a blog post, right? But come on, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had to deal with thoughts of worthlessness or inadequacy sometime in our lives. Me, probably a heck of a lot more than I’d care to admit. But the truth is that I often compare myself – my life and my achievements – with that of someone else’s. And the weird thing is that (DUH) it can’t look the same because we all have our own unique experiences and paths. DUH. And yet we still do this thing and then call ourselves “sucky” when we feel that we fall short.

Can you relate, or nah?

Maybe you’re measuring yourself up against Super Duper Mom who seems to have it all. You know, the mother who regularly goes on beach resort holidays with her family, all while keeping her house spotless, kids disciplined, bills paid and nails perfectly manicured.

Or perhaps you’re trying your best to impress your manager at work but you always fall short of that promotion – your skills and abilities seemingly just not good enough to wow the big guns.

And let’s be honest, who here is convinced that she sucks at being a wife? I mean, I don’t always have the energy to iron my hubstopher’s shirts on demand and my sugar sweet “okay babe” is often tinged with growls of “no, do it yourself!” My well prepped, well balanced meal ideas often replaced with something that is quick and easy because: tired.

I recently went through a crazy season of dealing with feelings of inadequacy. And as I navigated my way through hormone changes and irrational thinking, I realised that we often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We set the bar high and then wait for other people to make us feel validated and as if we’re doing a good job.

But the truth is that being a woman – being a super woman (cause that’s what we are, yo) – takes a lot of self-motivation. Who says that someone else’s opinion of you and how you’re doing counts as more valuable than your own opinion of yourself?! Who made up that rule? I need to have a word with that guy… in his face… with a chair… (juuust kidding, say no to violence)

When I realised that I had been dealing with unnecessary thoughts of “not good enough” I literally had to give myself a pep talk. It usually takes a lot to make me feel as if I suck because I am generally, mostly optimistic. I am aware that my thoughts impact my decisions and emotions. And so, if I feel like I suck, it’s purely because I DECIDED to feel that way.

Your thoughts of “not good enough” are just that – YOUR THOUGHTS… an opinion that you’ve given life to. It doesn’t make it the truth. It just makes it the truth that you chose to believe. (Spreadsheet brain psychology, at your service). We take on this slave mentality and wonder why we don’t feel as if we’re free. We tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, based on the actions and reactions of others, and then we wonder why we feel as if we’re not good enough.

I know… mind blown.

So today, I encourage you to be free – breathe, stretch, shake, let it go! You are not in control of everything… and that’s okay. You are more than enough, just as you are… and that’s a fact. And no, you don’t suck. I promise.


  • Marcolene

    Wow thank you for this, so needed to read this now, my hubby away for 2 weeks now and with 2 toddlers, I really felt like I am failing myself and my kids for feeling so tired of managing the house and everything alone and sleep deprivation did not make it any easier, having to worry about is everything locked, that is usually the stuff my husband see to and now I have to all these things. Just emotionally and physically drained I guess anyhooo here I am rambling about WHAT??? Thank you for the read its very encouraging

    • Luchae

      Ahhhh Marco, and the fact is that if you were really not doing a good job, then your kids wouldn’t be happy, healthy and well looked after and your husband wouldn’t be at peace knowing that his wife is holding down the fort. GOOD JOB!

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