Hands up if you enjoy feeling like a loser. Yes, I see that ‘LOL’, I get it, no one enjoys feeling like a loser. But alas, the world is a fickle place and even if you have all your metaphorical ducks in a row, chances are you pretty much won’t win in every single area of your life, every single time. I mean, we clutch… we flop… we fail. We fall down (take a nap) and get back up again. It’s part of the process. I’m talking about the nap, but yes, the failing is important too. I mean, the failing kinda makes us great.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. And I hear you, girl. You’re thinking, hey Luchae, you shouldn’t be telling ladies that they should aim to fail. What sort of a demented psychopath are you?!
Well, firstly, calm down Harriet, there’s no need for name calling. And secondly, you’re right doll face, you should not be aiming to fail. But if you’re expecting things to be rosy and perky all the time, you’re in for a treat. And by “treat” I mean “rude awakening”.
I experienced an, uhm, rude awakening of this nature the other day and it was not pretty. I totally didn’t even put it on Instagram – it was that ugly. This rude awakening was so rude that it made me feel like giving up. Why bother continuing on this journey, if I’m doing a bad job, right?
And in that moment, I realized what those famous, clever people meant when they said that failure isn’t falling down, it’s refusing to get back up. Giving up is the worst thing. I’m not saying stay in that kaka situation. No, MOVE if you must (you’re not a tree, yo). But move with intention and purpose. We enslaven ourselves to bad situations and then cry about it when it flops. You are NOT a victim or a slave!
In my moment of rude awakening, I had to remind myself of this truth. I had to pep talk Luchae into not giving up on, well, Luchae. And then I literally had to pull myself up, and make a mental decision to continue moving towards my God-given destiny… regardless of what was happening on the battlefield. You see, the way you handle yourself during the battle reveals your true character. This is the stuff that character is made out of. It all forms part of your story. And if you consider the journey, winning or losing isn’t really thaaaat important. In fact I’ll even go as far as to say that every loss is actually a lesson anyways – our flops are actually stepping stones to something greater.
And as I sat there, staring at the very thing that was making me feel as if I suck at life, I decided to pop my collar and do what I do best. No, not eat chips and chocolate at the same time. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I decided to take the bundle of poop that is the situation and magically turn it into a bowl of ice-cream, by adding a dash of positivity, a dollop of forgiveness and a sprinkle of good intention. (I’m sorry, i don’t know why poop and ice-cream is in the same sentence).
I would be a nana head if I allowed this perceived failure to decide how I feel about myself and my future. And anyways, it does not mark the end of the road. It’s a detour. And my favorite thing about a detour (besides for stopping for a snack) is the uncharted terrain that we get to explore, as we navigate towards our destination.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this today. Maybe somebody out there on the interwebs, needs to read it. So if it’s you… if you’re sitting with a massive hurt or failure, on your heart right now… please know that your ending is far more beautiful than you can imagine. Don’t give up now.