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My Spreadsheet Brain

A South African parenting blog, complete with clever quips and a dash of humor

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  • Win!
  • Parenting
  • Marriage
  • Heart matters
  • My spreadsheet brain
  • Kids fashion
  • Features
    • Bath time
    • Beauty
    • Nelson Mandela Bay
    • Reviews
    • Tips and tricks
    • What my kids are playing with
  • Win!
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • ECMeetUp
  • Awards and Media Mentions
  • Mommy what happened to your tummy
    Parenting

    Mommy, what happened to your tummy?

    January 15, 2021 /

    “Ew mommy, what happened to your tummy?” my little girl asked me, while keeping me company in the bathroom. Apparently I need supervision while I shower. Mind you, I knew the day would come when my kids would start paying attention to body parts. I just didn’t expect that MY body would be the first point of interest. If I were to be sincerely honest – and I plan to be, because this blog is my therapy space – her question totally and completely devastated me. I mean, to say it nicely: it made me feel lekker junk. It made me feel junk because, I mean, who has lus to…

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  • 2021 Grateful
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    2021: Grateful

    January 7, 2021 /

    Much like the rest of the world, I start off each year with a new motto/word/vision… because, in a nutshell, my aim is to not end the year the exact same way I started it. I mean, how morbid would that be? This isn’t a season of Bold and Beautiful, you know, where we never age and we basically live out the same storylines over and over until Brooke steals our husband. Life – God’s glorious design – is filled with bumpy rides and smooth roads with the sole purpose of, well, adding some scenery to our journey on earth. Sometimes a change in route is all that is needed…

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  • One truth about Covid-19
    Heart matters

    One truth about Covid-19

    December 31, 2020 /

    I’m convinced, we love drama. I mean, if you consider the amount of fake news and Covid-19 conspiracies that frequent our Whatsapp broadcasts and Facebook timelines, you kinda have to wonder who is writing the script for this nonsense. (It’s posted on Facebook so it MUST be the truth. *insert eye roll*) If we had to be honest with ourselves we’d admit that at this point we kinda don’t know what to believe when it comes to coronavirus. Are the stats even real? Wasn’t it created by the Chinese government? Bill Gates wants to control our minds, right? Dunno. But there is ONE single truth that I DO know about…

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  • An ode to 2020
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    An ode to 2020

    December 29, 2020 /

    There are so many things that I wanted to accomplish in 2020. I had jotted it down in my diary, in January, planning events and strategies way in advance. You know mos – spreadsheet brain, and what not. But, alas, as fate would have it, 2020 would be that drunk uncle at family gatherings. You know, the one that starts out all cheerful and chipper, and then later causes havoc and destruction. Kidding. Let’s not blame an actual year for all the poo that we’ve had to endure. We blame the coronavirus. 2020 is just an innocent bystander. Anyways, blame games and finger pointing aside… it’s been a rather rough…

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  • Four funerals and a wedding
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    2020: Four funerals and a wedding

    November 5, 2020 /

    It’s been the best of times, it’s been the worst of times. I mean, besides for learning how to bake our own banana bread, 2020 has been showing us flames. Our “best of times” included the occasional Zoom wedding (which is pure genius, btw…). As human beings, we have somehow mastered the art of staying connected, without being in the same room. I dig that. Our “worst of times” involved losing many loved ones over a short period of time. And, honestly friends, death had always been a far off notion, for me, until this year. We’ve become heavily acquainted with grief. You don’t fully appreciate your time on earth…

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  • social media is a lie
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    My social media is a lie

    October 12, 2020 /

    I try not to catch feelings. Mainly because catching feelings means that my hands are full. It hinders my productivity. But, the truth is that I DO catch feelings sometimes… and like an expert nogals. In fact, my husband would tell you that on a particularly challenging day, I’d be out here catching feelings like Mark Boucher in his heyday. So that’s, like, a lot of feelings being caught. Why the monologue about catching feelings? Well, Gladys, if you follow me on the socials you’ll know that we’ve experienced a lot of loss this year. Having to watch our loved ones say goodbye to family members, on repeat, over a…

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  • Blessed are the peacemakers
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    Blessed are the peacemakers

    October 7, 2020 /

    When it comes to feuding and arguments, I kinda, uhh… don’t. Meaning: I don’t participate. I try not to indulge in little spats and angry text messaging and holding onto a grudge until 7de Laan’s Oubaas returns to Hilda (so that’s, like, a long time). I mean (honestly now) besides for being way too busy and way too lazy (at the same time nogals) to participate, I do find holding on to anger to be quite tedious and unproductive. And as you know – spreadsheet brain – my aim is to be super productive at all times. (Yes, even when I’m scrolling through Instagram Martha, thanks for pointing that out,…

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  • Pregnant Again
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    Pregnant again?

    September 14, 2020 /

    Now, as you may know, I have a lot of children, and (like all other children) they are especially cute… so one could say that we’ve done a good job at creating kids. Right? Until I give off a whiff of my favorite scent – Eau De Pregnant – and people start losing their metaphorical ish. Because, apparently, I’m only allowed to be pregnant a certain amount of times AND within a certain period, or else I’m straight up being sloppy… and that’s not a good look. Well, that’s what I heard from all the ‘CEO of Ovaries‘ who cared to weigh in on the topic. So yes, I’ve been…

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  • My spreadsheet brain

    My Covid-19 experience and why I chose to not get tested again

    July 22, 2020 /

    My run in with Covid-19 was a bit…uh…anti-climatic. It’s almost as if the virus was playing “where’s he, there’s he!” with me. I mean, I had been totally convinced that I was Covid-19 positive, like, thrice a week, since the start of lock down. With every cough or sniff I would be on my knees asking God to spare my life. Yeah, dramatic much, right? Except that when we lost someone who was very close to our family, to Covid-19, suddenly the dramatics were totally called for. And suddenly my every cough or sniff felt that much more deadly. Mind you, my symptoms had seemingly worsened and I felt like…

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  • talk to your child about career
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    When to talk to your child about career

    July 6, 2020 /

    I don’t know if you guys are aware, but your cute little poppets are going to morph into hairy, sweaty, opinionated teenagers eventually. And, besides for all the hair and body odour, the opinionated part will probably be the thing that irks you the most. For me and my hairy teen, the biggest debate has been around career. I mean, if the kid could make a living off of playing XBox games, he would gladly do so. But alas, this option (even though its a real career nogals) is not available to him right now. We’ve toyed around with a bunch of different career options and we honestly still have…

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