Heart matters

How to deal with someone who doesn’t like you

We’ve all been there. We know what it feels like when someone thinks we suck. And, unless you have the emotional aptness of a spoon, it kinda stings sometimes. But how do you do it, friends? How do you handle the sting of rejection? Most times I’m just over here wondering how someone could have overlooked my sheer awesomeness (and obvious humble heart). The truth is that we’re all different. And hey, that’s okay. If God wanted us all to be the same, the world would be a very boring place. But if you are wondering how to deal with someone who doesn’t like you, maybe these tips could help:

Talk to the man in the mirror
No, not Michael Jackson. What I mean is: start with YOU. The truth is that you’re never really “finished” or “evolved” enough to be done with growing. Every opportunity is a moment to be better! Look, let’s keep it real, if Sally doesn’t like you just because, the chances are the just because is actually a very real reason. Maybe you unknowingly gave her a funny look when she was having a bad day. Or maybe (keeping it realer than real now) something you’ve done or said was insensitive or offensive. Come on Jack, we are not perfect. We all have our moments (surprise-surprise not everyone will laugh at your Jacob Zuma jokes). Chat with someone you trust and ask their opinion. And, this is a biggie, be willing to CHANGE. You can’t control how Sally feels, but you CAN control yourself.

Smile and wave
No, seriously, smile. Remember that their opinion is NOT your problem. In fact, if you did not know their opinion of you, how would you respond to them? Offense is GIVEN. It’s your choice whether you want to TAKE IT. I’m not saying make them your new BFF – you don’t have to prove your worth. But being courteous and kind is for free, yo! (“I’m sorry that you feel that way about me, but Imma love you anyways!”) Look, I know, if someone doesn’t like you it’s easy to want to initiate payback mode and not like them right back! The mantra goes: hurt people hurt people. But, I ask you with tears in my navy blue eyes: what’s the point? Revenge is a dish best not served at all. If it’s not adding value to your life (or theirs) rather avoid that negative situation, smile and wave girl, smile and wave.

Be the light
Kindness always wins. Yes, I know, I sound like a Disney movie. But it’s the truth, yo! As I’ve said before, we are all different. And thank God for that! Sometimes the best way to deal with a tense relationship is to simply accept your differences. You don’t have to try to win them over. And you most certainly don’t have the time to play that “clap back” game to see who can hurt who the most. How lame. Instead, accept that not everyone will think you’re the best thing since sliced bread (hmmm carbs) and move on. You are called to be a light! What does that mean? Well, it means that you should always respond and react in love and kindness (even when people don’t like you). Does it mean that you are a walkover? No Sir. I’m not saying be gullible or weak. But I am saying: Don’t let other people’s opinions of you determine who you are and how you respond.

One Comment

  • Laura

    Hey I so needed to hear this and I only got to reading it now. This is a real struggle in my life. I have someone that I need to smile and wave with and I do it but begrudgingly because I have to. I find the person super irritating but she isn’t going anywhere and neither am I. Help please

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