So this past weekend women all around the world sighed infront of their television screens at the beauty that is Meghan Markle as she walked down the aisle to marry an actual prince. Meghan – a 36 year old divorcee, who is probably as “royal” as I am – was whisked off into the royal sunset by His Royal Highness The Duke of Sussex – also known as the very dashing Prince Harry. I mean, this is what dreams are made of – to be the wife of a prince. Right?
Hands up if you had a “sigh, I wish a prince would whisk me away into the royal sunset too” moment on Saturday. I had this moment, friends. Well, I had many moments, if I’m going to be really honest with you. But, the truth is that as glamorous and amazing as Meghans new life has just become, there are some parts of marriage that is unavoidable, no matter how dashing your prince is. Stuff like:
1. Even though he’s pretty to look at, after a few years of marriage, he’s probably going to annoy the living daylights out of you now and then. Granted my annoyance is because he doesn’t change the toilet roll holder and yours might be because he stepped on your toe, in the golden carriage. Same thing girl. Husbands get annoying.
2. You might not always agree with or understand (or want to agree with or understand) his side of the family and the way they do things. I mean, this speaks for itself in so many ways. We learn how to adapt and compromise. We learn how to speak up and stand for what we believe in. We learn how to put ego aside, to make it work.
3. Hey, I don’t care how dashing your prince is, when bedtime comes around (and you’re exhausted and not in the mood) I won’t judge you for turning on that fake snore, girl! Generations of women all around the world have fake snored and you, Princess Meg, too can do this. No judgies.
4. It can be difficult for a strong, independent woman to let go of her “I can do all things” attitude, to allow her husband to steer the ship. No matter your race, religion or culture, allowing your man to be the man can be challenging. Hey, can you imagine how much harder it might be if your man is in fact on auto pilot due to royal protocol and tradition? Exactly. Taking all of my metaphorical hats off for Meghan.
5. Staying connected and working on your marriage is applicable in and out of a royal castle. Wearing a tiara does not make you immune to a complacent relationship. You’ve got to keep the fire burning, yo! I would imagine that this applies to our lovely royal couple too. I mean, wait until they start pooping out babies… white Givenchy dress for what?!
You know, the only royal thing about my Hubstopher is that he’s a royal pain in the neck sometimes. (Please don’t tell him I said so) But (and you can tell him this) I love my royal pain in the neck. What I’m trying to say is that: it’s all about love. Love is the thing. And I love the way these two love each other. It’s beautiful really. But more than that, it’s necessary.
Castles and designer dresses and fancy royal galas aside… without love, spending a lifetime with this other person becomes kinda tedious. Love makes it easy to overlook the flaws and irritations. Love makes it worth it to roll up your sleeves and graft at making each other happy. Love opens up doors to show grace through the hardship and forgiveness when it hurts. Loving each other, even when it’s hard, is what makes your marriage a royal marriage!
So even though I may not have been carried off into the sunset by a prince on a white horse of sorts, I still consider myself lucky to have found the prince of my heart. Being married is a mind trip, you guys. You learn the art of putting yourself aside for a whole other human being. But you also learn the power that comes with making difficult decisions that sometimes results in you taking the back seat now and then. You don’t need a crown to be a queen.
So congratulations Ms Markle, you’ve found your prince, and I’ve found mine. Now the real work begins!