This week I had to make peace with the fact that I’m not always a “perfect parent”. Let me explain: I know that children are a beautiful gift unto our wombs and all of that, but I’ve been feeling especially overwhelmed lately. The need to be the perfect parent seemed to be clashing with the fact that, oh look, I’m a human being too. Has this ever happened to you?
This past week, a vast majority of my household cautiously clambered their way out of
the pit of the worst case of gastro known to man. Just when I thought things would return to normal baby Jo then developed a really bad case of thrush. The thrush infection quickly escalated, eventually infecting his digestive tract. My baby boy could not hold a feed in for three days straight. Picture me driving like a crazy lady between work and my sister’s house, as I try to balance being a mother versus having a job.
As if that wasn’t enough, Kari seemed to be particularly energetic this week. Her levels were peaking last night, while we tried to ‘shush’ her during the speeches at an event. Guys, let’s just say, I made a speech while she was tugging on me, while loudly (and obnoxiously) letting everyone know that she wants a blue cupcake immediately please. The beautiful thing about having a baby while trying to raise a toddler is that you can’t lose your ish, even though you really want to. Oh wait, did I say “beautiful thing”? I meant to use the words “crazy mess”.
When I eventually got home with my sick kid, my needy kid and my teenage kid, I had to nurse a headache the size of the iceberg that hit the Titanic. Except that I felt like the Titanic in this situation. It was at this point that I decided that I want to toss out of adulting altogether. I wasn’t in the mood to cook a healthy meal. I didn’t want to tidy the house or make sure my children were bathed. I wasn’t keen on reading them bedtime stories or checking homework.
So I didn’t.
I felt like a loser parent, I’m not going to lie to you. I mean, I should be doing this better, somehow. But then I realized that I need to give myself a flippen break man! I’m not a “perfect parent”. Heck, I probably wouldn’t be one, even if I busted by chops trying! And anyways, I’m sure my kids aren’t looking for super mom. They just want to be loved (and for me to turn on my wifi hotspot now and then). Those are two things I definitely can work my way around doing. So I ended up giving the minis a quick wash, got them into PJ’s and camped out in my room with blankets and tea. Kyle made sandwiches for supper (gasp, somebody call child services) as Kari and I watched ‘Storks’ for the umpteenth time. My “perfect parent” theory nothing more than a puff of smoke as I feel the steady breathing of my sleeping baby, against me. All was right with the world. We were okay. I did what I could for today. Tomorrow, we try again.