Update: A letter from a sick persons bed

If you’re reading this please know that my common sense has prevailed and prevented me from running with the completely morbid opening sentence that I had originally intended for this piece of writing. Hello. Welcome. Shalom. How are you? I’m fine, thank you. Well, I’m 100% percent sure that my body is healed and it just has to catch up with the truth that it’s healed, if you know what I mean.

The past two weeks have been completely insane, as far as weeks are concerned. Besides for singing my tonsils out at our church conference and DVD recording (only to later discover that, oh joy, my tonsils aren’t very happy about being sung out) I’ve also been really not healthy through all of this. Couple that with a strangulated hernia, and Bobs your uncle who is actually a doctor and telling you that you can’t leave your bed for a whole week.

For those who don’t know what a strangulated hernia is, congratulations. May this dreaded fate never befall on you. Okay, okay, maybe you still want to know what it is, anyways. Well, for various reasons that I shall not go into over here because the drugs are kicking in fast and I don’t know how much longer I can hold up with this banter, just know that some moms suffer from a condition called Diastasis Recti. This occurs post birth, when your tummy muscles have separated and cannot find their way back, thus leaving a gap down the middle part of your belly. This also means that the muscles are not protecting or encasing your intestines etc. An umbilical hernia (what I have) is when the intestine gets a little bit too friendly with your belly button cavity, and slips into that spot, gets stuck there and then throws its toys out of the cot. Okay, it doesn’t actually have toys to throw out of the cot, but it does get really painful, since all blood circulation is cut off etc. This can lead to a damaged colon, infections and even death.

So yes, all of this (minus the death part) happened to me on Saturday, at the church conference. Literally, on the bathroom floor, for all the world to see. It was very exciting, in a “everyone can see me crying for my mommy like a baby aaack” kind of way. A kind doctor gently pushed the intestine back into place (yes, with his finger) and the pain was immediately gone. But he insists that I have it surgically repaired. Now to get my medical aid to agree. Woohoo. Not.

Anyways, couple that with a severe case of tonsillitis and the fact that I can’t hold food down (extreme nausea, like every waking minute) and you’ve pretty much got the pilot episode of my newest reality show… Living in the Loo with Luchae. Hahaha I literally just made that up. I told you the drugs are kicking  in fast.

But hey, it’s not all bad, you guys. For starters, I get to rest this week, which I wasn’t planning to do, to be honest. My very clever friend told me that I need to work on my physical wholeness… so I’m picking up the flack, and getting my body back on the healthy track. (And that was not meant to rhyme, but here we are, rhyming now). So that’s what I’m focused on right now.

I have so much blog stuff that is literally sitting up here, in my head, just giving me dirty looks. For starters I have a whole blog post dedicated to the child abduction thing. You won’t believe the level of frustration I’m feeling. I mean, I even did the homework!!!!! Now to actually get the info typed out. Meh. I also have two fantastic competitions that I am meant to run. Maybe next week? Okay, fine. Next week.

But other than that. Nothing interesting going  on this side of the world. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along…

Clip note: Thank you for all the beautiful messages, Whatsapps and attempted phone calls. I haven’t really been taking calls due to eina throat. I’ll respond to messages eventually, I promise.