They say age aint nothing but a number… well, yes, that’s true. Aging is all in the mind and all of that. But hey, regardless of how old you feel or don’t feel, the one thing that I appreciate the most about aging is the life lessons that one picks up along the way.
If you had to meet 20 something year old me, in nineteen-voetsak, you may have gawked at her questionable taste in clothing (because I only wore skirts that were designed to fit 12 year olds) and my even more questionable taste in men (cough cough).
Anyways, a chat with a friend (hey Simone!) reminded me that old Luchae could teach young Luchae a thing or two about life! I mean, if I had to have a chat with 20 year old me, I would definitely fill her in on the following:
1. Guys are just guys. Sure, you can meet the love of your life and possibly get married and have cute little kideos and live happily ever after. But truth be told, the love of your life is still… just a guy. No man deserves to be worshiped… not even your husband.
2. You’re not too old to do whatever the heck you want to do. Girl, you’re 20! You’ve only been on this earth for 20 years! Madonna has been around longer than you and she’s still making music so what’s stopping you from reaching for your dreams?! Also, being a single mom, and kicking butt at it, at the age of 20 is something to be proud of! You may feel as if your options are limited right now, but honestly baby girl, your mindset is your only limit.
3. In a couple of years time, a crazy man is going to tell you about Bitcoin. Buy like, a hundred of them.
4. Your grandparents, as immortal and strong as they appear to be, are not immortal. Cherish them, sit at their feet and learn as much as you can. And, most importantly, bring along a book and a pen and write down all the stories they will share about their youth. Those treasures are the real inheritance.
5. Try not to invest too much money into partying and clubbing. I mean, sure, a fun-filled December in Cape Town sounds like a great idea for a holiday. But maybe don’t sell your car or spend all of your December bonus money, to do it. Having a good time is, well, a good time. But being broke and carless in January… not so much a good time.
6. I know, it feels like such a leap stepping out of your comfort zone to pursue that degree or career that basically has nothing to do with what you’re doing right now. You’re looking around, thinking that your friends (the ones who actually went on to study after high school) are graduating right now and that you’ve missed your turn. Well, you didn’t. Do the thing, girl! Stop being so fearful!
7. You’re not fat. Girlfriend, after you’ve popped out a couple of kids, you’re going to look back at these wonder years and wish you were as “fat” as you are right now. Enjoy your body and look after your health!
8. Oh and talking about kids: it’s never too early to start prepping your body for child birth. Yes, I realize how wack this sounds. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about, Young Luchae. Google “kegel exercises” and “strengthening your core muscles”. You’ll thank me later.
9. Darling, this is a tough one, so I’m going to say it as gently as I can: you don’t need loads of store cards and credit cards. Like, cut it out. Step away from the cellphone contract, I repeat, step away from the contract! Consider this: if you had to add up all the money you spend on paying those bills per month, you’ll actually find that you have more than enough disposable income to make those purchases CASH, once you’ve settled all your debt. Now that’s wisdom for ya!
10. Finally (but not really finally because I have a lot to share but I don’t want to sound as if I’m giving you a lecture), don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to pursue your relationship with God. I know that your friends are not “religious” or into that “God stuff” and you feel like you’ll stand out like a sore thumb. That’s okay. You’re called to be in the world but not of it.
I know you’re overwhelmed. You’re stuck in a wormhole where a gazillion things and absolutely nothing is important all at the same time. You worry about your life decisions… if you’ve made the right ones, will you ever find love, can you repair the damage that (you thought) you’ve done. And hey, I’m no expert, I don’t have all the answers to your many questions. But I am 100% confident that you’re going to be okay, girl. You’re going to be okay.