My spreadsheet brain

My nanny thinks she’s Leon Schuster

My nanny thinks she's Leon SchusterI love my baby’s nanny. Let’s call her Maria, for privacy reasons. Maria is in her late 50’s and is a wonderful woman. I love the way she looks after our girl – I’ve even walked in on her, with a toy on her head, trying to make Kari laugh. You can’t buy that kind of devotion. But she’s not that clued up when it comes to technology – which is no train smash… I know a few older folk who think that Whatsapp is pure evil anyways. So it’s not a shocker.

But ey, this woman has a really weird way of calling me. By “calling”, I mean phoning. And by “weird”, I mean she gets other people to speak on her behalf – which is okay, but then, get this, they pretend to be HER! “Hi Luchae, it’s Maria here!” – when the voice clearly belongs to a 20 year old. I’ve had older ladies call, pretending to be her. I’ve had younger ones call in, saying they are her. But yesterday, she just took the whole cake!

It first started off as a random phone call from someone who wanted to remind me that they aren’t coming to work because they are going for their check up at the hospital. Usually by now I’d piece together that this is another Maria impersonator, calling on her behalf. And friends, I normally play along. I’m that person. But this time was different. This time, the impersonator was a MAN! This MAN is now phoning me, as Maria, to say that “she” isn’t coming in. After a few shocked minutes of silence I was like, “Uhmmm no I dont know who you are!” and ended the call.

He then called back to say that he is, in fact, calling on her behalf.
*insert cricket chirps*

So yes, that was confirmation: our dear Maria has a thing about talking on cellphones. She’s not keen. But this “whose voice is it anyways” is freaking me out!

It makes me feel like someones going to jump out from behind the couch and point me to a cleverly hidden camera.
Is… is this a joke? Ahhh Maria, you jokester you!
So funny! Noooot.

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