It’s Mommy, but you can call me Mom

Anyone else feel like their mommy identity is their only identity? Aren’t you so tired of it?! Yeah, I said it. I’m tired of feeling like I’m 90% Mother and 10% ‘What else you need?’ Gosh, I remember a time when I was so flippen interesting, that people would come speak to me to hear what’s on my mind, not what they need to get from the shop.

I remember a time when my shoes were so bedazzling and amazing that they would be lined up neatly, in a corner of my bedroom. They were always ready for a night out or a supper date at a trendy eatery. Dare I say it: my shoes were “on fleek”. Not “on sale”. My shoes were all tall and elegant looking. They weren’t these flat, formless pieces of leather that we now allow on our feet because it’s much easier to chase after a screaming toddler in a packed shopping mall while wearing foot gear that is flatter than the top of table mountain.

Talking about mountains, I remember a time when I didnt feel like one. Guys, I didn’t even have to go on diets. My body just decided that it had no use for fat and that carbs was a friend of mine. My tops were not loose-fitting and my pants were not stretch material. Sigh, those were good times.

I remember a time, you guys, where my Friday nights were filled with missed calls because I didn’t know which group of friends I wanted to hang out with. Not because I fell asleep, while watching “Beauty and the Beast” (for the 145th time) and can’t find my phone (stuck between my butt and the couch).

I remember, oh so clearly, how all my jokes were funny and all my witty comebacks were supremely clever sounding because guys were young and impressionable and I knew that they thought I was brilliant.

I remember when I gave up sleep, on purpose, to dance the night away and the freedom of the December holidays – crazy summer nights and lazy beach days. Ha! I remember being able to spend cold hard cash on a new outfit without guilting myself about the soccer gear that wad of cash could have covered!

Do you guys remember? What’s your favorite thing to get all nostalgic about?

I had a moment (because I’m old now, so I have ‘moments’ often) where I tried to remember my very favorite memory out of all. I realised that I couldn’t pick one. I didn’t have one.

I had three… the births of my three kids.


Kyles birth was scary, because I was still a baby myself, but the moment I laid eyes on him, my heart skipped a beat. He graduated me into Mommydom. Karis birth was so joyful, I literally laughed when I saw her. My long awaited daughter… the most beautiful girl in the world! And Jonah’s entry into the world was so special – my heart felt like it could burst – he was just so gorgeous!

Oh sorry, what was I speaking about now again? Mommy identity? The past? My life before children?

Well, it is what it is. There’s a lot to reflect on. I remember being young, carefree, skinny, adventurous, exciting, full of energy, not broke, childless….

… selfish, unaccountable, unmoved, irresponsible, egocentric, half baked.

And now? Well… now I am complete.


  • esrida

    Before I was Mommy I was also wife, and before that I was ME 🙂 So many roles, so many hats, but would not trade any of them on a good day, and even on a bad day I come to my senses very quickly! But yes, miss the days when I got checked out on the street because I looked good, not because I had suspect stains on my shirt after baby wiped her yogurt mouth on my shoulder.

  • Carly Clarke

    Love this . I do miss the carefree days but not as much as I miss my friends and our random nights of unending laughter we all are married or have families and sometimes getting together is quite difficult and some live in East london and I am in Cape Town . I do however have another group of friends who try and meet every 2nd month with our families at a different home and have Sunday Lunch that is quite cool connecting they are newer friends but feel like we have been friends for a lifetime .

  • ameliameyer

    Ah, I got all warm and fuzzy now. More about dancing the night away than about having kids – haha, just kidding. I love the tone of this piece. And it’s so true. Remember being able to wait until 10pm to DECIDE whether you were going to go out? And shopping at YDE because you didn’t have to pay taxes on your waitressing tips and your parents bought your shampoo. And shampoo was pretty much the only necessity, because you were 17 and had no other goals but good hair…

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