You’ve been there, I know. You’ve been overwhelmed by motherhood, wondering why on earth you ever signed up for this job. The perks are suppose to outweigh the cons, right? I mean, that’s what those soppy feel-good movies imply. And yet, I find myself, perk-less, knee deep in baby poo, day dreaming about the days when I took things like silence, long soaks in hot baths, and audience-less trips to the loo for granted.
I find myself longing for a clean house and a bank account that doesn’t point and laugh whenever I swipe for yet another tin of formula. I stare enviously at friends who have yet to learn just how much it sucks to pay school fees… friends who pack a simple carry-on for a visit to the beach… friends who are able to plan spontaneous trips to quirky little getaway spots, without wondering if there’ll be enough room for bags after installing the car seats.
And just when I’ve reached the end of my metaphorical mommy rope, something strange happens.
My baby boy giggles while I’m giving him a bath. And it’s the most adorable sound I’ve ever heard in my whole entire life! My little girl runs in with a flower and says “for you mama, you’re so pweddy!” and I want to pick her up and squeeze her so tight that she never ever leaves my side ever again! My sons tell me about their future goals and the pride beaming from my chest is enough to make me feel as if I’m the richest person in the world!
And as I watch my children play peek-a-boo together, laughing at each other’s silliness, I realize that this very moment – and others just like it – far outweigh the biggest sacrifices I’ve ever made for them.
Suddenly I want to hold on to them a little bit longer. Snuggle as much as I can, and color-in as many Barbie pages as she needs me to. I want to have those endless conversations about soccer until my brain pops and go on all fours to race after my baby boy just to hear him laugh. I want to dedicate every waking moment of my day to watching them grow and savor this time where they need me so very much. Because once it’s gone, all I’ll have left of their childhood are these sweet memories.