Your children are watching you
Ever wonder what your kids see when they witness how you handle things at home? I mean, sure, sometimes your hubby annoys you and you have your moments of frustration. But you keep it together, right? I mean, your home is totally not a war zone, right? But what do your kids see? And, are they seeing what you would like them to see? Your children are watching you. Yes, that sounds like the synopsis of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
My cryptic opening paragraph may have you scratching your head and reaching for your phone to scroll through Instagram. Sorry, Candice. I was having a moment. But now that I’ve pulled myself towards myself, allow me to explain. One of my kids let slip that they could see how annoyed I was “the other day”. I literally did a double take, because, dude, I wasn’t annoyed on that day. Maybe it’s just my face. Seriously.
But then it got me thinking: maybe my spreadsheet brain (aka the militant way I run my household) comes across as being annoyed or angry all the time. When, in retrospect, I’m just trying to get chores done so that we can all chill! But what am I teaching my kids. What are my children seeing?
I had this revelation a few years ago (and it’s great to be reminded of it, like I was last night) that as wives and women in our homes, we set the tone and the atmosphere, to a large extent. I guess this varies from home to home, so I can only speak for myself and the type of home I grew up in. I do believe that as a mom and wife, you have the power to manipulate the energy in your house. And your response to a situation is the best teaching tool for your kid.
Last night, for example, “someone” (okay, fine, it was me) had forgotten to buy electricity (we have one of those box things). So we sat in the dark for like an hour. When the power shot off, I could feel that anger bubbling. Man, I was so pissed off at myself AND my Hubstopher, because he was meant to remind me to get the electricity token.
It was one of those moments of anger where I didn’t feel like caring what everyone else was going through. I just wanted to bathe in my anger, as if it were a bed of roses, and pretend I was Madonna.
But the atmosphere at home was already pretty somber, since we had to sit around and wait while Hubstopher drove around trying to find an outlet that was “online” to get the electricity token. And that’s when I had one of those “a-ha” moments where I remembered that I have the power to change the atmosphere, in my home. This was a teaching moment. So instead of acting cray (and let me tell you, Sandra, that cray cray was ready to be unleashed) I lay on my bed with my kids and we sang songs… literally in the dark… it was the best time!
Once Hubstopher came home with the token and the lights were back on, I cooked a meal and we sat around laughing at Jonah who has a new found passion of playing drums… on literally anything… and anyone. The night could have turned out so differently and I probably would have gone to bed hating on my hubby and knowing that my kids are walking on eggshells because mom is angry again. Instead, they (hopefully) learnt a lesson in “taking da lemons and making da lemonade.” (Totally said that with a Jamaican accent).
Anyways, what’s my point? Well, I guess my point is that sometimes all we need to do is take a breath and ask ourselves: “how do I want this to turn out?” and, more importantly: “what do I want my kids to see?”
Have you had any teaching moments, with your kids?
9 Comments
Melissa Javan
Reminders are good. Thank you.
Megan Keith
Thanks for this reminder! I’ve been thinking about this lately, and how my mood affects our home life. I need to chill more and not get so wound up. Thanks fo the reminder! xxx
Chinweizu Imo
Thanks a lot for the reminder
Masi
Definitely I have had so many teaching moments. By the way, i completely agree to your words that we, as parents, decide what our kids see. It is a revelation. My daughter, who is doing his 2nd semester Mechanical engineering in Dubai and I have had a lot of teaching-learning happening between us and even now, whenever she comes down home during vacation. I teach her mostly etiquette and she teaches me back how i should be using Instagram and FB.
Emmanuel Nonye
Thank you very much for the reminder…I’ll put it to good use
Sandra
Our children should be our number one priority, ensure all you do affects them positively… Thanks and nice article.
Loretta James
This article is great! I just want to add this, parents should be conscious of what they do around their kids, it could have a positive or negative effect on them
Bio
Awesome post… Most parents thinks children don’t actually watch them.
Joseph Nkosi
Exactly! We parents don’t know that…Thanks a lot for the reminder, I’ll be conscious of my children’s present.