If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had your fair share of relationship dramatics. I mean, I don’t want to exaggerate or anything, but I’m convinced that my love life could, totally, be a whole season of 7de Laan. And hey, this is no shade thrown at my ex boyfriends. It’s not all their fault. I’ll admit, I’ve displayed psycho girlfriend tendencies on more than one occasion too (remember 7de Laan’s Tarryn?).
When I say “psycho girlfriend tendencies” I’m speaking about those feelings of ‘unloved’ or ‘unwanted’ or ‘not good enough’ one picks up after being hurt.
We all show signs of it on different levels. It can manifest itself in the forms of depression, low self-esteem, mistrust, manipulation or anger and it certainly makes you wonder if jumping into that relationship is such a good idea, after all. I mean, why risk entering a long-term commitment with the WRONG one, if it means toying with your emotional and mental stability?
Now I’m not here to make excuses, friends, but this is the reason why I plan to dissuade my kids from jumping from relationship to relationship. A string of failed relationships is the breeding ground for insecurities and perceptions that are probably as far from the truth as Tarryn and a GHD is. It is these very same negative perceptions that influence how you respond in your next relationship and eventually your marriage. AAACK.
Test the waters, they say. It’ll be good for you, they say.
Well, if I could go back in time and undo all the damage brought on by being in the wrong relationships, I would in a heart beat. (Sorry ex boyfriends. It’s not you, it’s me.) Please take this as a reminder that it’s okay to NOT be ready for that relationship. No matter how cute he is when he laughs.
My advice to you is to wait until you are ready. Have your deal breakers in place and be on high alert for those warning bells. Don’t give the ‘psycho girlfriend tendencies’ opportunity to manifest in your life! You hear me?! Whenever you contemplate giving your singledom away, for an unconfirmed frollick in the sun, picture me, with a police siren on my head and a loudspeaker to my mouth saying: “Step away from the ‘psycho girlfriend.’ I repeat. Step away from the ‘psycho’!”
At the end of the day, being happy – and I mean, truly happy – is an inside job. Find the one that complements you… not the one that completes you. Unless you’re into the whole psycho girlfriend vibe. In which case ignore this whole blog post.