fan of my body
Heart matters

Being body positive: I’ve never been a fan of my body

I’ve never been a fan of my body. I mean, I get it, I’m not overweight. But that doesn’t mean that I feel good about the way that I look. To be honest guys, I’ve been body shaming myself since primary school, when I was so skinny that my school socks needed to be held up by elastic. I hated how thin I was. And then I had Kyle, picked up some weight and hated how not-thin I was. I’ve never really been happy with my appearance. And I don’t know if I ever will be.

Why? Well, because I am female. And for some totally ludicrous reason, we girls seem to think that we need to be unnaturally perfect looking in order to be, well, perfect looking. Who made up those rules? Well, one could say that the media and entertainment world did. But quite honestly, I have my own brain and my own thought processes and I do believe that I am a strong woman capable of making my own decisions. So as far as I am concerned, if I’m going to point any fingers, I need to accept the fact that I’m my own worst enemy in this instance.

I hear you, magazines and music videos make us want to have big boobs, flat tummies and Kardashian-like hair. But I still get to decide whether those books and vids influence me. I get to decide whether I want to feel good about myself and the way that I look, just as I am. My worth is not determined by some misconstrued idea of beauty. I mean, if the girl on my TV screen is a template, and I’m meant to copy, paste, copy, paste, until I also have thick thighs, contoured cheekbones and perky breasts, then where’s the beauty in originality?

Where’s the beauty in being fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who doesn’t make mistakes? Where’s the breathtaking stunningness in being unique, exceptional, distinctive, special and a limited edition?

Anyways, this revelation hit home when I realized that I need to teach my own daughter that her beauty is not something to be determined by some crazy delusion. Being Kari’s mom means that I get to teach her how to be a woman who accepts and loves her body and the skin she is in. And I do that by accepting and loving my own body. I’m one of the main influences in her life and the scary thing is that when I body shame myself, I’m kinda telling her that it’s okay to hate on your own body. Body shaming myself let’s my little girl believe that she isn’t good enough just as she is.

So I’ve decided to break the cycle. Can any of you relate? Has hating the way that you look become the norm for you? What are you doing to break the cycle?

Shout out to Laura of Harassed Mom for heading up and Ella of Just Ella Bella and others for sharing their own body positivity messages. 

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