In a weird way, I think that I rediscovered my “mom groove” after the birth of my baby girl. I’m calling it “weird” because I actually knew how to be someones mom before she was born. I mean, I was not completely foreign to the concept. My firstborn is in his teens, so I’m practically a pro! But rediscovering all the joy (and dedication) a newborn baby brings reminded me of the importance of being Mom.
Being someones mom means having your own mommy smell and mommy way of saying and doing things. Those familiar traits are what your kids get hooked on. They give you special super powers that come out when there is a scraped knee or a broken heart that needs tending. Mom is the only one that can do it in that special “mom way”.
Being Mom means so much more than just cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry. I’ve had days where my son would be terribly unhappy with me, because he wasn’t able to tell me the latest episode of his “what happened at school today” story. He would be like “but you’re not listening to me!” Being Mom means that you are able to get it all done AND pay attention with expert skill, all at the same time.
Being Mom also means that you are the moral compass for your kids. I have found that our boys turn to us to see what is right and wrong. And they remind us of it every day! “But mommy you said that we should always share with each other” – When I’m devouring a chocolate all by myself. (Whaaat?) And “Mommy, I thought you said that we aren’t allowed to put our feet on the couch” – When I’ve just sat down with a cup of coffee and I need to kick back and relax. They watch everything. Everything.
Moms, another biggie is submitting to your husband. The challenge with our boys is that they have 2 moms and 2 dads. So they respectively see Hubstopher and I as “mom and dad” only to a certain degree. Because of this, I had to (and still have to) consciously show my son that Hubby is the man in our house and who we submit to. This means honoring my husband, considering his advice, respecting his decisions and yes, giving him the biggest piece of meat and the most chicken (is it a culture thing?). It brings a sense of security to children when they see their mom respecting their dad and their dad loving on their mom. Being Mom means that I would want that for them!
For my step son being Mom to him means that I recognize that his biological Mom is his mommy and the first lady in his life. Being Mom to him means that I let things happen naturally and I don’t shove all my mommy-ness down his throat, but allow him to come as he is and take what he needs from me. It’s a bit difficult when it comes to co-parenting, because his dad and his mom should collectively be making the decisions in his life. But that does not take away from my role as mom in MY house. There are certain rules I will have in our home, as Mom, that all our children must adhere to, because they are ALL members of our family.
Most importantly, being Mom means that no one can pray for my kids the way I can. Being Mom means that I am the one laying in bed at night, with their faces running through my mind and the excitement for their future in my spirit. I’m the one asking God to look after them, Holy Spirit to lead them and commanding angels to protect them. Being Mom means that I get to share Jesus with them in the little things I say and do and don’t do. Being Mom means that I get front row seats to watch them grow in the Lord.
Learning how to be someones mom is hard, yo! But at the end of the day, you grow and eventually see the fruit of your labour. It’s all totally worth it! Being Mom is the same as being a superhero with awesome super powers. A ninja superhero. Or something like that. Being Mom is cool.