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My Spreadsheet Brain

A South African parenting blog, complete with clever quips and a dash of humor

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  • Parenting
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  • Kids fashion
  • Features
    • Bath time
    • Beauty
    • Nelson Mandela Bay
    • Reviews
    • Tips and tricks
    • What my kids are playing with
  • Win!
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  • talk to your child about career
    Parenting

    When to talk to your child about career

    July 6, 2020 /

    I don’t know if you guys are aware, but your cute little poppets are going to morph into hairy, sweaty, opinionated teenagers eventually. And, besides for all the hair and body odour, the opinionated part will probably be the thing that irks you the most. For me and my hairy teen, the biggest debate has been around career. I mean, if the kid could make a living off of playing XBox games, he would gladly do so. But alas, this option (even though its a real career nogals) is not available to him right now. We’ve toyed around with a bunch of different career options and we honestly still have…

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  • my teenage crush
    Heart matters

    My teenage crush didn’t know that we were in a relationship

    March 31, 2020 /

    Come on friends, I’m sure we were all guilty of crushing on a Hollywood heartthrob at some point in our young lives. You know what I’m talking about… that ‘lay in bed, poster on the ceiling, write his name all over our school books’ kinda infatuation that could only be cured by seeing what your first name would look like with his last name next to it. (Tip: Vin Diesel’s surname isn’t really Diesel.) The Tom Cruise’s and Leonardo diCaprio’s of our time could certainly rival today’s celebrity dreamboat’s and they’d probably win by a mile. (Or is that the ‘old aunty’ in me talking?) I mean, what do these…

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  • Heart matters

    Matric Dance celebrations: how big is too big?

    July 17, 2019 /

    Depending on where you grow up, your Matric Dance (aka “prom”) evening can be as simple as “just another night on the town” or as extravagant as a wedding. My brown people usually opt for the latter, going the extra mile with the send off, sparing no expense on draping the dining room (for the photos mos), expensive catering and the hiring of high end luxury vehicles to make that special night that much more special. It’s a big night – big celebrations must be had! I totally get and support that. But I guess it’s not for everyone. I’ve had chats with people who were like, uhmmm no I’m…

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  • Telling our kids we are pregnant
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    Telling our kids we are pregnant

    May 2, 2019 /

    When you have as many as we do, you kinda brace yourself when breaking pregnancy news to the kids. Telling our kids we are pregnant was a pretty big deal in our home. I mean, the older ones help out with the younger ones (thanks Kyle), so a new baby means more smallies to run after. It helps that Kyle is almost 18 and that Seth (who lives with his bio mom anyways) is 13. But you guys, Jo (2) and Kari (4) are a handful on their own. Kari thinks that Jo is a handful too (I know this because she says it). Jo… well, he’s just outchere being…

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    Living with teenagers can be annoying!

    February 15, 2019 /

    If you’re the parent of a small kid, or, in my case, a gang of small kids, and you’re thinking that your life is “woes” right now, allow me to bring some clarity to the situation. This level of “woesness” is nothing compared to when your tiny angels are full grown adults, who have opinions of their own. (Disclaimer, if you’ve come here for advice, move along Jackie. But if you’re looking for a kindred heart who has had to stop herself from, you know, throwing shoes and cutlery at her grown son, then welcome friend! This post is for us.) No one makes me as angry as my 17…

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  • Choosing the right school
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    Choosing the right school for your child and other parenting headaches

    January 28, 2019 /

    I grew up in (what our brown people lovingly refer to as) the hood, in Port Elizabeth. You know… the type of suburb where all the kids in the neighborhood would play with each other, in the street, literally, because we didn’t have big yards or grassy side walks. It was a time of unsolicited nicknames (because we all knew a “China” or “Blou” or “Koppe”) and anyone’s parent was allowed to give you a group spanking if you misbehaved. Back then, the unspoken rule was that when your time for schooling came, you would attend one of the public schools in the area. I mean, my parents probably knew…

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  • Parenting

    Moms, have you heard about the ‘Fiver Party’ trend?

    January 15, 2019 /

    What if I told you that “no gift parties” are the new in thing? Yes, I’m being serious. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Hands up, if you’ve been to more kid’s parties in one year, than you’ve been to actual, grown up parties. In fact, taking your children to birthday parties is high up on the list of standard “things to do when you’re a parent”. But the thing is this, guys, it can get quite pricey if you’re attending copious amounts of birthday parties on the regular! Well, one genius mom came up with the “Fiver Party” concept and it’s now trending in America and Canada. A Fiver…

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  • 5 Tips for a Fun Family Game Night with Uber Eats
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    5 Tips for a Fun Family Game Night with Uber Eats

    December 26, 2018 /

    So if you have as many children as I do, you pretty much run out of ideas on how to keep them all happy at the same time. I mean, they don’t all have the same taste in movies, or food and believe me when I say, they don’t find the same things entertaining. Luckily for me, with Uber Eats on my side, I am able to cater to a variety of tastes, while saving some time to spend on deciding which fun games I can play (and win at!) on a family game night. We love family game night! I usually throw one of these in the mix when…

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  • Your children are watching you
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    Your children are watching you

    October 3, 2018 /

    Your children are watching you. Yes, that sounds like the synopsis of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Ooooooooh. Okay, my cryptic opening line may have you scratching your head and reaching for your phone to scroll through Instagram. Sorry, Candice. I was having a moment. But now that I’ve pulled myself towards myself, allow me to explain. The other night I realised that my kids were watching my behavior. In a nutshell: one of my kids let slip that they could see how annoyed I was “the other day”. I literally did a double take, because, dude, I wasn’t annoyed on that day. Maybe it’s just my face. Seriously. But it…

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  • stop asking me to have another baby
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    5 reasons why you need to stop asking me to have another baby

    July 2, 2018 /

    It’s no secret, we have more children than members of Destiny’s Child. I mean, if you told me a couple of years ago that my reign in the ‘Single Mommy Hood’ would be short-lived and replaced with a full on explosion of many children, I would’ve laughed at you. But years later, here I sit stretch mark bedecked and permanently exhausted due to the fact that I seem to enjoy buying nappies. (Kidding) And yet, people still ask me when I’m popping out the next little Williams. Bless their hearts. But seriously guys, you need to stop asking me to have another baby. Here’s why: Mommy incubator I am more…

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