Archive of ‘marriage’ category

How to survive being married to a musician

being married to a musician

Our wedding day (Photo: Donna vd Watt Photography)

Being married to a musician has its perks. Strange perks (like when he decides to “beat box” to you ranting about something) but perks, none the less. Are you dating a muso? Well then, girlfriend, this advice is for you!

How to survive being married to a musician
1. Learn to not look up when he refers to “Pooky” because it’s probably his guitar. Understand that he names his instrument. It will probably be an even mushier term of endearment than he has for you.

2. Expect him to spend a fair sum of money on things like strings, pads and sticks. (Clip note: They are not what you think they are.)

3. Never ever refer to a singer as a “musician”. You are only deserving of the title “musician” when you play an instrument.

4. Do not break into hysterics when you find him making this facial expressions while listening to music:

No, he is not having a mild heart attack. This just means that he likes and admires what he is listening to. (It also means that he probably did not hear you shriek loudly in panic anyways.)

5. Get use to listening to music on it’s highest volume. Or be okay with him wearing headphones all the time. Because there is no other way to really listen to music.

6. “Sound Check” – Definition: You will be at the event hours before anyone else is. 

7. When the lights go on and everyone goes home after an event, keep calm while you watch him potter around on stage. Be prepared to hang around as he “jams” with the band… yes, the same band he just “jammed” with for the past hour.

8. Learn how to speak “muso”:
Quick lesson:
A “sick” bassline means that it’s good.
When someone is a “beast”, they are quite skilled with their instrument.

And remember:
“Shedding” does not refer to hair loss.
“Breaks” does not mean someone broke something on stage.
“Double time” and “Half time” has nothing to do with sport.

These views and opinions are solely based on my experiences. Reference: 


Marriage and Melodies: Our feature in JStar Blomag

The nice lady (Mvokazi Mjayezi-Ncede) from JStar Blomag emailed me a few weeks ago asking if they could please feature Chris and I in the August edition. We obviaaasly had to say yes! What an honor! 
We got to share about how we met, what brought us together and what keeps us together! 
Chris and I met a couple of years ago and sorry Hollywood, it wasnt exactly “love and first sight”. 
We became really good friends first and I think that is so important! We got to know each others ins and outs before deciding if this was “the one”. 
I am no relationship expert, but since I’ve been in a few (the longest one – prior to Chris – being 7 years!) I am an advocate for “let’s first be friends”. I see sooo many people jumping from one relationship to another – how tiring! 
One of our church pastors said something profound once. 
He said that making up and breaking up all the time is kinda like desensitizing you to divorce. 
It becomes a learned behavior. It just made sense to me and looking around at all the beautiful marriages I see, I find that the people who have been less exposed to unstable relationships believe in LOVE and the “Happy Ever After” even more than those who have experienced constant break ups. 
I’m not slamming “dating”, but I do feel that going into a “serious” relationship is such a big decision. Why waste your time with someone who you do not want to spend the rest of your life with? Why waste THEIR time? 
Anyways, so in this edition of JStar, you’ll read more about us and how we met and what we believe to be the glue that keeps us together 🙂 
I love this magazine, besides for the obvious reasons haha :), because it features amazing stories, testimonies and advice for regular people, from regular people, on behalf of regular people. 
(Had to say it again). 
There’s no sugar coating, no flashy misconceptions and total truths that are sure to inspire you and help make you feel a little less crazy and a little more motivated to be a better you! 
Check out the Jstar site, to get the online magazine and to get the August edition with us in it. 
I feel so faaaamous now and stuff! 🙂 

What they didn’t tell you about: “…..Then comes a baby in a baby carriage”

Luchae and Christopher, sitting in a tree
First comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage
And then comes no more cuddling or alone time or lying in bed till 11am on a Saturday morning

And THAT’S how that poem is meant to end!
It’s the part they fail to mention, when you’re all smitten, with hearts in your eyes, planning your life and your perfect family with your perfect guy. Babies are hard work! And extremely demanding! Cute, but demanding.
I had a moment this morning where I suddenly missed lying in my hubstopher’s arms while watching a movie. 
Or just lying in my hubstopher’s arms, period. 
Our baby co-sleeps – something I do not regret and am planning to do until she is 1 years old and no longer breastfeeding. 
But until then, no cuddle cuddle for him. Or me.
Fortunately, I married the best guy in the whole entire world, and he is totally patient and supports our reasons to co-sleep but I think that we need to somehow work our way around it. 
Maybe more date nights? Maybe put her to bed earlier?
So obviously, the first thing that came to mind now was to create a romantic cuddling rendezvous spreadsheet time table, so that we could work out exactly WHERE AND WHEN we can have some time together. 
How  special.
But hey, amidst the high school drama, homework, cooking supper, worship team commitments and other stuff, fitting in some cuddle time might be near impossible if we do not schedule it.

And this, dear readers, is why it is SO important to marry for LOVE 🙂 

The Thief: Our engagement story

I know I’ve been really bad at keeping my blogs up to date, so here I am to redeem myself with a very special engagement post. On the 30th of December 2012, Chris proposed and I said: YES! 🙂 <3

The gory details: 
Chris made me rehearse for a whole afternoon because we were meant to do a song item at church. I sang my little heart out, trying to get this thing perfect. Chris ended up inviting our families to church and everything, so that they could see us do the item AND he was leading worship so it was a special service for us anyways. Little did I know that the dude had something else up his (cardigan) sleeve. ANYWAYS… After worship it was time for the song item… Chris and I made our way to the stage, and I stand there, with a mic in my hand, waiting for him to start the song with his guitar.

And nothing happens. I’m thinking, oh no, the sound guy forgot to plug the guitar in or something… All of a sudden a DIFFERENT song starts playing… And I’m a bit confused… coz this is definitely not the song we rehearsed! Lo and behold, my Chrissy starts singing to me 🙂 Right there! On the stage! Of corse, the congregation cheered him on when they realized what was happening! It only hit me like, few seconds later. Talk about delayed reaction.

He sang a song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Brooke Fraser, called “The Thief”. I’ve always told Chris that The Thief MUST be our wedding song! And now it will be. Anyways, so there I stand, as my boyfriend serenades me in front of the church, family and friends. He then went on one knee and said: “Luchae, I cant think of a better place to do this… in front of God, our friends and family. I said that I would do this before the end of 2012, and this is the night. Luchae Gie, will you marry me?” 

Well, something along those lines… I was to busy crying and trying to hide my face in my hair to hear him hahaha. The congregation was sooooo awesome… cheering him on and encouraging me (telling me to say YES lol). Which I did. Of course. It was the most perfect moment ever! Anyways… we’ve set our wedding date for the 16th December 2013, which gives us plenty of time to plan and enjoy this time of being betrothed. By the way, I forget to say that. AAAAAAACK!

See pics below 🙂 We got it at lots of different angles coz everyone at church took pics.
God is so faithful!!!!!
Happiness is me!! <3engagement

Duh! Yes, you’re suppose to read my mind!

Sometimes I wonder what God was thinking when He created the female brain.
Coz I sure as heck don’t understand it. And I’ve got one!

I was just pondering on the fact that sometimes I want something to be done, but I don’t want to have to say it. My thought processes are normally like:
“I’m fine! :)”    
**I am SO not fine with this!** 

“No, its cool you don’t have to do it! :)”    
**If you don’t do it I am going to think you to death!!** 

“What makes you think I’m upset?? I’m not upset :)”    

“I dont mind if you do that! :)” 
**Gasp! How dare you! Is nothing sacred anymore?!** 

And the beat goes on.

Now, this could just be MY thought processes since I am the over-achiever-always-nice-to-everyone girl who tries to be the perfect girlfriend, but I have a feeling similar patterns run through ALL female brains. This now makes me realize why my boyfriend is always quiet when he thinks I’m upset – Maybe its coz hes not sure whether I actually am. **He’s just suppose to KNOW that I’m upset!! Why should I tell him?! Hmmf!!!!**
🙂 bwahahaha

Anyways, point:
I guess how will he know if I don’t tell him. Right?
I mean, who am I, Professor Brain Doctor, trying to teach him how to pay attention to my every need and stuff? If I want an ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles, I say “Hi, please can I have an ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles?” and if I get the wrong one, then I can throw him with a chair or something. But why throw the chair if he doesn’t even know you want chocolate sprinkles?
Save the chair. Until you have a good enough reason. The chair will always be there.
Okay now I’m rambling.

I guess there are just some things that men are suppose to KNOW.
Like, hello, you cannot watch Rugby on Valentines Day and expect me to be okay.
And no, you cannot take your friends to our secret romantic spot and “chill”.
Some things are just suppose to be KNOWN.

If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, then this means that they should have a highly developed sense of ESP.
This is my story and I’m sticking to it.

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