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My Spreadsheet Brain

A South African parenting blog, complete with clever quips and a dash of humor

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  • Parenting
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  • My spreadsheet brain
  • Kids fashion
  • Features
    • Bath time
    • Beauty
    • Nelson Mandela Bay
    • Reviews
    • Tips and tricks
    • What my kids are playing with
  • Win!
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
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  • ECMeetUp
  • Awards and Media Mentions
  • Heart matters

    I’m not that cute anymore

    June 20, 2025 /

    I can’t remember the last time I felt attractive. I blame this on the state of my hair, the aging of my skin, the flabbiness of my body and the fact that I’ve been pregnant three times in four years. I blame it on the umbilical hernia that makes me look as if an alien is trying to escape my body through my belly button. I blame it on hormones, on the stress of life, on the fact that I’m always busy but I don’t always want to be busy so then I stop doing things and then I hate myself for not doing things. I blame it on the…

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    Motherhood: a stripping

    May 23, 2025 /

    I vaguely remember those days of bliss (painful bliss?), after birthing my babies. I mean, how much detail would you expect a stitched up, overly exhausted, hormone-wrecked new mom to remember? Post-birth days are a blur. The one thing I do remember is the way I instantly fell inlove with each baby. Like, immediately. There is no feeling like it, right ladies? I lived in that euphoria for days post-birth… the pain and broken body not as important as the sweet smell of my baby. And even when my sister and I jokingly chat about how scary I look post birth, I know that it’s in jest and I honestly…

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    The big gender reveal

    May 16, 2025 /

    Well, I’m more than half way into cooking a whole baby in my belly and we have yet to reveal the gender to anyone. More so because we don’t know our little youngling’s gender either. And guess what you guys, we don’t plan to find out anytime soon. Our big gender reveal will most likely only take place when baby Williams is actually here. Yep – we’re going ‘royal family’ and will only find out baby’s gender once he/she is born. As you can imagine, this was totally and completely Hubstopher’s idea (because I have a super intense spreadsheet brain and I need to know everything all the time). I had,…

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    Telling our kids we are pregnant

    May 2, 2025 /

    When you have as many as we do, you kinda brace yourself when breaking pregnancy news to the kids. Telling our kids we are pregnant was a pretty big deal in our home. I mean, the older ones help out with the younger ones (thanks Kyle), so a new baby means more smallies to run after. It helps that Kyle is almost 18 and that Seth (who lives with his bio mom anyways) is 13. But you guys, Jo (2) and Kari (4) are a handful on their own. Kari thinks that Jo is a handful too (I know this because she says it). Jo… well, he’s just outchere being…

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    My maternity leave is over and I’m excited

    September 18, 2025 /

    No, the title of this post was not written by tiny alien invaders who have taken over my body in an attempt to gain a deeper understanding of how the average mom brain works. (Suspicious sounding much?) But yes, I am excited that my maternity leave is over. Does that make me a weirdo? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love lounging around (aka cleaning the house, doing the laundry and getting lunch and supper ready, all while holding a 8kg baby) but I need to get my life back. I find myself craving routine again. Can you believe it? It’s the spreadsheet brain talking, fa sho. Guys, I…

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    My breast milk is better than yours

    August 1, 2025 /

    I don’t know about you ladies but I am feeling particularly magical today. Why? Well, because it’s World Breastfeeding Week (Aug 1 – 7) and to commemorate, I read up a whole bunch of fascinating facts about breastfeeding and breast milk. I love that we were designed to nourish our infants. I love that my milk contains everything my kid would need in the first few years of his life. And I love that my body knows what to do and when to do it (except for that one time in Pick n Pay, when I sneezed and milk came out). Anyways, my body knows what’s up, okay? Just believe…

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    Why being a mother sucks sometimes

    June 23, 2025 /

    Being a mother sucks. What? You don’t agree? Wait, maybe I wasn’t being clear: You know all the amazing parts of being someones mom? Stuff like hearing them call you “mama” for the first time and being able to snuggle up next to them as you read Good night, Mouse for the umpteenth time? Well, those things seem extremely over-rated when you’re exhausted after having to change your bedding (thanks to a massive squirt of newborn poop) and then have to referee an argument between a 2-year old and a 15-year old about who gets to sit on the “big couch”. Oh, hi there, excuse me where are my manners.…

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    Recovery after birth: how to stay sane

    June 6, 2025 /

    Whether you’re a first time mom or a ‘last time mom’, like me, the first few weeks after giving birth are usually very challenging. I know what you’re thinking: “What?! Is it not enough that I carried this kid around for nine months and then went through a very physical labour that resulted in me exposing more of my mind, body and soul than I care to?!” Okay, calm down, Patricia. Yes, post-birth can be just as challenging as the actual labour was. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ve found a few simple things that has really helped to make my recovery after birth more comfortable.

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    Inducing labour: My birth story

    May 30, 2025 /

    As far as these things go, I’ve always considered myself pretty expert at giving birth. My first two deliveries were quick and easy and yes, there was pain, but I could handle it to the point that I laughed through most of the contractions. Literally, laughed. But the birth of my son, last Thursday was way different. I think that inducing labour played a big role in that. But hey, let’s start at the beginning: The beginning My doc knew that I was super keen to give natural birth. I was convinced that Jonah would practically walk out of my womb, so to speak. But my last gynae visit showed…

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    Preggy update: Husbands are sometimes right too

    May 22, 2025 /

    Preggy update: I’ve been especially hard on myself the past few days. Why? Well, mainly because I am STILL pregnant and I don’t know how to make it stop! If you recall from my previous posts, my doc would like to induce me later this week because this kid is a giant and I really want to give birth naturally. So, for the past few days, I’ve been trying out old housewives remedy’s and modern mama theory’s to try to get baby Jo to make an appearance. And still nothing.

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