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The 5 most embarrassing things I’ve said on my blog
If you’ve met me on any given day, you’d know that I am super good at being spontaneous… in an awkward way. Like that time when someone, at a local conference, asked me where I’m from (referring to the company I work for), and I replied with “Port Elizabeth”. Duh. Anyways, so I’ve seen this awkward spontaneity spill over into my blog. Most days I’m pretty okay with it, because I figure it makes for interesting reading, if anything. But sometimes its so awkward that my close friend would call me and be like: “I can’t believe you blogged about THAT!” Maybe it’s bravery. Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s because…
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Switching off to switch on
So being ill the past few weeks has really put a damper on my otherwise banging itinerary. I mean, hello, my blog is called “spreadsheet brain”… I have ish to do! Being constricted to the confines of my bed totally killed my vibe, if you know what I mean. But it helped me to put some things into perspective. A spreadsheet brain selah moment, if you will. I call it “switching off to switch on”. I know. I’m so wise and stuff. For starters, my kids are growing up you guys. Have you ever taken a long look at your child and thought to yourself “oh wow, you look different…
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Life lately: I get it, I can be annoying sometimes
You know those annoying people who are bright and cheery all the time… you know, the type of people you want to throw a stapler at. Well, that’s me. I’m that person. I can be annoying sometimes. I’m bright and perky majority of the time, and I don’t know how to make it stop. Actually, I don’t think I want to make it stop. But I had a brief encounter with a major grump this week and the look of annoyance on his face, at my over the top cheeriness, literally made my inner Jessica Day cringe. Granted, the bloke isn’t someone in my friendship circle and I fortunately don’t…
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The girl I once knew
I once met a drunk girl, in a random, crowded night club bathroom. She was beautiful. And drunk. Did I say that yet? We both were. We hit it off like only girls can when they are intoxicated, swearing to be “best friends for life” and declaring “girl power” and “viva tequila” and all other sorts of nonsense that makes sense when you are inebriated. The following morning, I found out that the girl had been in a car accident, en route home from the club, and had lost her life. My brief encounter with her left an indelible mark on my life. I mean, I had no idea who…
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Someone you know is being abused
When I was in my teens, I witnessed my friends mom get slapped across the face so hard, by my friends dad, that I thought the woman would drop down dead. The exaggeration is not there to cause drama, yo. It really seemed that hard. The mom didn’t know that I had witnessed it. I waited, with baited breath, wondering what her response would be. But, instead of crying, she literally picked herself up and carried on living her life, the sting of his giant man-hand still tingling away on her dainty cheek, as she prepared supper with a fake smile on her face. That’s the thing about abuse. If…
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His ex is not psycho
If you’re a female and you’ve had your fair share of relationship drama, chances are you’ve been labelled “psycho” or “psychotic” once or twice in your life. No doubt by a fuming ex-boyfriend, desperately seeking bravado and/or redemption in the eyes of his easily entertained group of friends and/or his easily influenced new love interest. I mean, he needs to let them know that he is better off without you. And the new love interest needs to know that she is, duh, a gazillion times better than you are. And, more importantly, the man needs to feel like “the man”. I get it. (Not really) But why she got to be…
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Doing it for “the church”…
Chris and I often find ourselves meandering from one big church event to another, while trying to keep our family alive on all the days in between. We are actively involved at our local church and we attend church related activities twice or thrice a week. The other day my dear ol’ Hubstopher said to me: “We need to stop being so busy!” And that’s when I pointed and laughed, as my smartphone lingo suggests: rolling on the floor and laughing my butt off (how does one even do this) at the mere thought of spending a single week in absolute peace and monotony. The truth is that we excel…
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Father’s Day and single motherhood
I remember our first Father’s Day without Kyle’s dad. I was a young, single mother, trying to make ends meet (so very cliche) and I was not excited about celebrating a father that was not around. A father who had decided to move to another city, leaving me to parent our kid alone. In my head, he did not deserve to be celebrated. In fact, I wanted to throw a major pity party and an underhanded comment here and there, whenever someone mentioned anything related to the day. I had decided that Father’s Day was not for me and my child. I mean, Father’s Day made me more aware of my…
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Hurt people hurt people
I remember feeling really small and insignificant in grade six. I was awkward and skinny and I actually liked doing my school work and hanging out with my baby sister. I wasn’t cool or popular. I didn’t do cool or popular things. I was reminded of my uncoolness often, by a mean girl who would pass comments about my gangly legs and oversized hair accessories (thanks mom). The mean girl was cool, so everyone laughed at her jokes. I laughed too. Leeanne didn’t laugh though. **Leeanne was the only other girl in our class who was a little more awkward and skinny than I was. She also did her schoolwork…
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Why can’t women be happy for other women?
I’ve figured it out. Well, atleast I think I did. I think I know why there is a constant case of cant-be-happy-for-each-other-itis between us ladies. I mean, come on, let’s be honest, shall we? We’re pretty good at hating on each other. Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. We are the queens of throwing shade, especially at another female’s perceived success… even more so at her failures. Why do we do it, friends? Why can’t women be happy for other women? So I’ve decided to bare the brunt, and the back lash, to attempt to solve this mystery. My analyses was based on a bunch of different things.…
